I’ve just received an email from a friend in pain.  He’s poured his heart out in this email over the loss of his best friend Jasper.  There are many of you that are reading this and remembering best friends that you’ve known and loved.  There are others that will never understand the magnitude of that love and that saddens me.  I’m not sure that my friend understands the magnitude of Jasper’s legacy.

First let me say that Jasper’s appearance into Shawn’s life was a destiny beyond the universe.  I’m sure, although I don’t know with any certainty, that had he not found that dirty street dog my life would be much different.   Shawn is a dog trainer.  I call him my friend despite the fact that I’ve only seen him an hour and half at a time for all of three times.  I believe he calls me friend too. 

I adopted two little girls from a woman in Arkansas who found them as two dirty street dogs and took them under her wing.  The girls were destined to live with me by the sheer ease with which they made their way to Stowe Lane where I live.  But once they got here all manner of ease was gone.  I was in a state of change I couldn’t even begin to know.  The girls were in a state of change they couldn’t begin to know either.  A perfect storm.  I loved them the minute I met them and they me but everyone else was kept at arm’s length, literally.  Slowly, I began to isolate myself again.  The very thing I ran from was happening again and I had to stop it. 

Enter Shawn.  Jasper had trained him well.  He enters a home with a grace and presence that only a street dog can teach a man.  His energy has been learned from a teacher like Jasper.  Lina, my fearful Staffordshire terrier mix, who usually peed at anyone’s mere presence, fell in behind Shawn and relaxed.  Toto, my Wire Haired Terrier mix quickly relinquished her protectiveness for Shawn’s rules.  As did I.  Slowly, I came to believe that I was in control.  That I could love these girls within the boundaries that would keep us all safe and give us the life we deserved.   We walk all over our neighborhood now; we are not afraid but confident.  We have rules and understanding.  We have each other for the rest of our lives.

Jasper’s message to Shawn has been learned by most of us who’ve become his friend.  I do my best for my girls every day and they reward me with the same love and loyalty that Jasper and Shawn have shown each other. 

I have lost dogs in my lifetime and, with the exception of one, I have been by their sides when they have crossed that same bridge.  There is no greater sense of loss one could ever feel.  I also know that what we do when we let our friends go is more humane and selfless than you can ever know.  I can only hope that someone will love me enough to do that for me one day when I have surpassed my ability to enjoy life.  But through that pain we become who we are meant to be, we learn our strength and pass it on to the next.  All these experiences give us the capacity to love and care for the next best friends that come into our lives.   And indeed they will come into our lives.

I hope Shawn will feel his pain all the way through so that he can come out the other side with even more love in his heart.   As for Jasper, he joins my Toby, Pearl and beloved Murphy.  Very good company for sharing a double cheeseburger.  You remain in our hearts and prayers.

With love San, Lina and Toto too!

Donations in Jasper’s name should be made to http://www.rbari.org/donate.html