I’ve never had the honor or privilege of being a parent, nor have I had the aggravation or lament that comes with being a parent.  I have, however, had the great fortune to know several wonderful parents; family and friends of mine who have raised fine upstanding children.  One in particular is raising several children of varying ages at a time of great unrest in her life.  She has sorted things out so beautifully I thought, with her permission, I’d share her conclusions. 

Our children need TWO loving parents who…

·        Are present and allow them to be themselves, making their own mistakes – even the same mistakes over and over until they learn.

·        Understand that they’ve made plenty of mistakes over and over and probably will continue to do so…until they, too, learn.

·        Make them feel safe enough to tell the truth – the truth about something they may have done terribly wrong or the truth about something that may seem minor to them – such as breaking curfew or forgetting a chore

·        Understand that we, too, forget stuff at times and are willing to imagine ourselves in their shoes

·        Make them feel important and that their opinions are valid – even if a 6 year old has an opinion that makes no sense in a grown up world

·        Leave the lines of communication open – for useless facts that they just feel the need to say or major events that affect their lives.

·        Don’t leave them with emotions they may never have experienced before.

·        Don’t blame themselves every time one of their children make a mistake, are less than perfect or needs extra help

·        Don’t turn every issue into something other than what it is – stay focused on the issue and don’t overdo it

·        Fight or argue in front of them, but take immediate accountability for their actions, helping them understand that even people who love each other have disagreements and it’s not always the end of the world.

·        Pay attention to them when they have something to say – or even when they aren’t looking

·        Catch them doing something good or right more often than when they do something wrong.

·        Are selfless – enough to take control of themselves in the midst of chaos and pay attention to the most important truths – love and protection of your children

·        Teach them how to be strong – by example, not just with words

·        Are willing to go to any lengths to protect them and their home

·        Make mistakes and love themselves enough to accept them – so the children can learn to love themselves as well if they make mistakes

·        Are proud of them and everything they are capable of – not who are always angry at their shortcomings

·        Love each other honestly and safely

·        Are at peace with themselves and the world around them

·        Can teach them about God and the power of prayer

Our children are all amazing and they deserve to be peaceful, happy and proud of who they are and where they come from.  I know that it is my job to make them feel that way.

As their parent, I deserve to feel that way too.