Decisions are one of those things that always seem to be tinged with either worry or joy.

Just recently I received a call from a dear friend who had finally made the decision to resign from a job that was running her ragged.  It was a good and exciting job that fulfilled that part of her that has always worked and been extremely successful at anything she’s ever touched.  She is dynamic, incredibly talented and unmistakably in charge.   She is also over sixty so jackassing up and down the East Coast calling on OEMs isn’t exactly what she had in mind after she retired (maybe too early)  from her last job.  But the lure of the money and the excitement of the start-up were irresistible.

Fast forward to an instant when you realize the time with your Mother may be running short, your grandchildren might not see you often enough, your family leaves messages on your cell phone instead of Skyping and you’re sitting in an airport waiting for a delayed flight and the lightning bolt hits.  Still the decision is difficult to make.  What will tip the scales more, the worry or the joy?

I’ve made some very big decisions in my life and each time I’ve agonized for far too long and become far too enmeshed in the decision making process to the point where I was unable to act.  These were decisions that were to be made strictly for myself , they may have been for my good and yet the worry far outweighed the joy and I hesitated. He who hesitates and all that…

What does that tell you about how you feel about yourself?  Where does the worry come from?

Then there have been times when I was put in a position to make decisions for others.  These have been the source of my biggest regrets.  My Sister and my Father both had to live with decisions I made for them and to this day I question the outcome.  The decision to have a portion of my Father’s colon removed ultimately resulted in his death from sepsis. Why couldn’t he have lived with a questionable polyp, he was almost 80 years old and suffering from dementia.  I knew it was the wrong decision when he awoke from anesthesia and not only didn’t know me but was frightened by me.  How prophetic. What if?  I’m learning everyday not to go there.  But sometimes I do.

Decisions happen every day, some are benign and some life changing.   Amelia Earhart said, “The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity. The fears are paper tigers. You can do anything you decide to do. You can act to change and control your life; and the procedure, the process is its own reward.

So now I approach things differently.  When I’m up against the decision making process I pay attention to the tip of the scales.  Worry gets me more things to worry about.  Joy brings me more joy.  I’m glad my friend made the decision she did.  She is still dynamic, incredibly talented and unmistakably in charge…of herself.  Her job never defined that and she had joy in her voice when she called to tell me of her decision….and just a tiny bit of worry but not enough to tip the scales.