On those rare occasions when I actually sit with my colleagues for lunch I’m always amazed at where the conversation goes.  I guess I shouldn’t be because when you sit together 5 or 6 hungry, intelligent and funny women then the most mundane subjects can take on a comical life of their own.

Take ironing.  I don’t iron, like ever.  My summer sister Kyle is an accomplished seamstress, costume designer/maker and with that comes ironing.  She’s a master.  She once remarked that I, am, one of the best people she has ever seen iron a wrinkle IN…not out.  You see where this is going.  (She also thinks I’m the only one who can incorrectly roll up my sleeves…it’s why I have her.)

My niece Kate visited a while back and asked where my iron was…..nope didn’t have one.  Ok I went and got one, a travel iron, which I can assure you, will never find its way into any of my luggage going anywhere.  So with that little travel iron I bought a folding ironing board, which I’m told by someone who attempted to use it, isn’t worth diddly. Shocking.  My idea of an ironing board is a towel thrown over the top of the washer and dryer.  And apparently some of the women at lunch agreed.  Just sayin.

Why would I iron when I have a dry cleaner?  For a tiny little bit of money they will launder your cotton shirts (light starch) and press them to within an inch of their lives. Steam the hell out of anything else that you can think of including dresses and pants with the most beautiful knife sharp creases.  For every other thing I own, I am perfect fine being poised at the dryer when the buzzer sounds to whisk everything out and into folded bliss.

Now folding I am great at.  I recently spent time at my friend Sandra’s while she was laid up with her two broken legs.  She was in organization mode (from her wheelchair mind you) and the linen closet, which was upstairs in her then very big house, was annoying her.  Ok, let’s take a look.  Big mistake.  Flat sheets here, fitted sheets there, pillow cases somewhere else.  Really?  That sent me a folding.  Flat sheet first, before you fold it over the last time…..place the folded matching pillow cases and the folded fitted sheet inside to make a wonderful bed in a packet. By the way, lessons on how to fold a fitted sheet to within an inch of its life; free for the asking.   Why the hell would sheets and pillowcases be in different places…these are the things that make me crazy.  PS my colleagues will now be folding their sheets MY WAY. I do what I can to save the women I know from the lunacy that is disorganization.

Finally, to those few people left who actually still iron their sheets…God bless you.  For the life of me I will never understand that.  Buy yourself some fabulous, wrinkle resistant, high thread count linens and be done with it. 

Or you might just hang them on the line (line? what line?) for that wind whipped crisp feeling from the old days.  I know like I know that feeling and that smell is like heaven and long gone never to be replaced by any fabric softener sheet, ever. Too bad.