When I first got my Lina she was so afraid that she would pee at the drop of a pin, or a gust of wind, or a leaf or a blade of grass.  She was so afraid.  She’s much better now four years later.  So on Thursday night when she came running out of my office leaving a trickle behind her I thought “what spooked you honey”.  We went for our evening walk and she kept trying to pee.  Not until she came into the kitchen with me and peed right in front of me did I really get it.  I’ve been known to give people/dogs the benefit of the doubt.  I gotta work on that a bit.

Somehow she made it through the night without peeing.  I was vigilant in my awareness of where she was and what she was, or hopefully wasn’t, doing.  First thing in the morning I call the Vet and they can get me in at 11:45.

Could you bring a urine sample?

A what?

A urine sample just put it in the refrigerator until you bring her over.

You know she’s a Pit Mix right?

Yes we know.

Seriously, how does one try and get a urine sample from a scaredy Mary Pit.  Aggghhh.  Well first you need something to put the damn pee in.  So I guess a jelly jar might work, its glass, just came out of the dishwasher so it’s sanitized (you know I hear Muriel in my head laughing about the fact that I have a jelly jar ready for action).  Definitely can’t have both dogs together or there will be pee all over everybody if I can even get close to….well you know.

So Toto goes into the office.  Lina and I go out, on a short leash, with the jelly jar.  So she makes a move and I’m right there except she stops and looks at me like “what the hell are you doing”.  I know Lina; there is no dignity in this for either one of us.  Ten drops at a time for the next three outings.  What we do for our dogs.

We arrive at the Vet, they take the jar, and we wait.  I didn’t realize that they were doing the urine testing right then and there.  I’m sitting and Lina is lodged firmly behind my knees between the bench and me.  Several dogs come and go and she makes it perfectly clear she wants none of it.  With every bark a little pee must fall.  You can’t make this up.

Finally, they are ready for us.  They want her weight.  All I can think of are the grooves in the mat that protects the scale.  One good pee and that thing is going in the can…thankfully, mercifully she didn’t let go of a drop.

Urinary tract infection. No shit.  And of course there are two ways we can go, first to get her through the two weeks of Clavamox (if I had a dollar for every Clavamox tablet I handed out I’d be rich, to say I should own stock in the company is an understatement) then retest for infection.  But you know, sometimes a urinary tract infection can be a symptom of an underlying issue.  Is this woman trying to upsell me?  Wait just a minute.  She relents quickly when she sees that are-you-kidding-me look on my face.  She’s a better Vet than salesperson.  So ok we’ll retest after the two weeks of Clavamox and they hand me a tray.  Designed specifically for “catching a specimen”.  It’s about an inch tall with a pour spout.  Are you kidding me?  Then they give me advice on how to go about “capturing a specimen” because sometimes the dog can be spooked by the height of the tray.  I fell out.  The jelly jar is about three inches tall.  When they realized I “captured the specimen” directly into the jelly jar my street cred went through the roof.  I’m just saying.  They could not stop a) laughing and b) applauding my style. That’s right.

When we got home we issued the first pill with a peanut butter chaser.  I was not going to get into a pissing match (pardon the pun) with this little one over eating a pill. Then we cleaned everything within an inch of its life and sequestered the girls behind bars in the foyer and kitchen which could easily be cleaned and re-cleaned if need be.

The office rug went to the dry cleaner with the pronouncement of “no judgment please”.  I went and bought a new rug pad because well you know.  And then collapsed.

By that evening, after only two pills my little girl was no longer trying to pee when she had just peed.  Her sense of urgency had abated.  She stopped panting. Her tail was wagging and she was happy and running the length of the apartment once again with no drips.

And they were let out of the red zone.  They both slept through the night, me not so much, one jump off the bed and they were getting whisked out the door.  But no incidents, thankfully, mercifully…we’ve made it through our first UTI with flying colors.  Whew.