How would you know?  You’re not a mother.  Ok get ready for the Aunt Rant.

No I’m not a mother but I am an Aunt, both biological (I think, does divorce change that?) and honorary.  To kids that are, well, kids and to former kids that I still can’t believe are grown and to young adults I’m just getting to know.  I believe I am a favorite Aunt to some, a cool Aunt to others and even a surrogate Mom to some others.

I do pro bono work on your behalf.  I say the things you wish you could say and I hear the things you may never hear.  Got that Mom?  I am a safe place, I don’t judge, I don’t sugar coat and yes I’ve been told I can slap (figuratively speaking) your kids (and pretty much everybody else) so hard they think they got a kiss….it’s a gift.

If someone needs a ride and Mother Dearest isn’t home, I’m their girl and yes they will probably call me before they call you.  If they charge out the door without their coat I am NOT going to send them back in the way you would.  They will get the lesson better if they shiver until they reach their destination where it’s once again warm inside, you remember I have heat in the car right?  If they want to pout and stamp their feet before we proceed with a group activity they will be left out.  That’s called…wait for it…consequence.   If they sneak up behind and want to join in, I’ll hug them into the fold, lesson learned.

I will spoil them on the birthdays, and Christmas and Hanukah and there’s nothing you can do about it.  I will create days that will long be remembered. They will be allowed to drink coffee with me. Don’t worry I know how to order decaf.

I will leave my door open and they will know that they can walk in whether I’m there or not.  Can’t tell you how many times I’ve found kids in my living room. I will listen to their most haunting secrets.  Haven’t heard one yet that would end the world and I will NOT condescend.  I don’t nag, I never have said nor will say I told you so, I use questions not preaching.  I value their opinion, and validate their feelings.  I’m someone who could whisper in your ear that you might want to keep an eye on this or that without ever betraying a confidence.  I put them in charge of their circumstances in such a way that they feel safe and secure in taking small risks that will not ever hurt them.  They can learn resourcefulness from me.

I will light up when I see them.  For all those people who tell me they were afraid of me when they first met me not once has a “niece or nephew” ever said that.  They can recognize the depth of feeling and the love I have for them immediately.

So the next time you hear yourself say…”you’re not a mother” understand you may be talking to someone who could turn out to be your advocate.  Listen Mom, Aunts have your back, they will not let anything happen to your children.  And I know like I know that you may be spared a good deal of the dirty stuff and very hard conversations if you embrace their role as an Aunt.

Done ranting….for now.