Spring brings more light, a warmer sun, and the promise of a garden to come. I can just about make out the tips of the hosta, the poke of the sweet woodruff and the tulips (all two of them that are left) are leafed out but no bud yet.
Spring begins with the vernal equinox. Equinox from the Latin “equal night”. The days and the nights are just about equal everywhere. The tilt of the earth is zero. This got me thinking…
I’ve had an interesting week full of juxtaposition, equal day and night. Equal easy and difficult. Equal good and not so much. I found myself saying I know like I know for the day, easy, and good circumstances. No surprise there. But then I found myself saying I don’t know what I don’t know for the night, difficult, and not so much situations.
It’s not always like this, equal. Sometimes, no mostly, it’s all good (I’m always reminded of Toots whenever I say those words) a lot like summer. Rarely is it all difficult, a lot like winter. I’m talking more about the I know like I know stuff being the cornerstone of my being. I take what I know for sure and cement it to my life.
But this week, this week has been different. I’m opening myself up to I don’t know what I don’t know in response to my otherwise smart ass usual snap judgments. To the most helpful phone conversation with himself, to the 3:45am break-in at my neighbors, to the pop in behind the scenes Facebook conversation with my dear friend in Amsterdam all these have left me saying, I don’t know what I don’t know. There are ways of being and personal issues looming in everyone’s life, everyone has a story. But I’m no longer satisfied to assume I know the story. There seems to be so much more.
So, Spring has started a time of new beginnings for me, where the admission of not knowing will lead to further exploration, understanding and empathy. Combine that with the acknowledgment that the unknown isn’t as daunting as I once thought and I know like I know that more light, warmer sun and the promise of growth might happen to me too.
In reading this I recalled my split second moment in the car this Saturday at 12:30pm. There are certain times of the year that I just love the way the sun casts a warm shadow on the street and buildings. And it is reoccurring, Winter into Spring and my favorite is Summer into Fall. It is this equal you are describing. It is a moment when you realize the answer or the conclusion is not what is important but the moment. Wow, this is the first time I put those thoughts into words and thanks for sharing with me/us that it is a real “universe” thing!