In the interest of preserving my karmic equity I have developed a sort of code language. Everyone’s got one whether they know it or not. On my legacy journey I want to make certain not to piss off the Universe before I arrive but there are times…..
I’m in a business that is dominated by men. Enough said. But the thing is, in this tiny little part of the business I’m responsible for they have to get approvals from….me. These are grown men mind you, not children so hold that thought.
I was taught by the best and thankfully he didn’t spare any of the gory details. Here are some of the more common translations I use to quell the boy inside the man when they try to get over on me. If it sounds a little (or maybe a lot) like your mother you’re right on target.
What I say… | What I mean…
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Help me understand. | WTF
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What am I missing? | Did you really think that would work?
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Once upon a time… | Oh yeah, let’s hear this story.
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Sooooo, let me see if I have this right,
You want…. You did…. You said… |
And now you want me to…
WHAT? You’d make a shitty teenager; even they wouldn’t try that logic. |
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You see how it would be impossible for me to preserve my karmic equity if I said what I really mean right? I sometimes run into trouble when someone really pushes my buttons as was the case just recently. Thank God my boss loves a good rant because I was on fire. After I was done getting it all out of my system I thought well I’LL TEACH HIM A LESSON in my best na na nanana voice. And I set about crafting an email that would cut like a knife. About half way through I thought better of it. Kind of. I know this guy’s got a story and he’s up against it and on and on and on. But he personifies passive aggressive behavior and has a condescending tone. I thought maybe I should teach him a lesson in my best walk a mile in his shoes tone. So I said what I had to say and put a pacifying stipulation that would help him save face at the end. Done. Everyone’s happy, well maybe not him, but certainly me and the Universe.
One of the things I learned a while ago was to check my motivation. I try to really know why I’m doing something and what I’ll get out of it. If it runs along the lines of revenge, vengeance, one-up-manship, I try and stay away from it. If it leans toward kindness, compassion and humanity I try and go with it. Listen I’m no saint but I’m trying to change my evil ways as Santana so eloquently suggested. Truth be told I struggle with doing things just because it’s the right thing to do. I like the thank yous and the fuss sometimes but that does not a legacy build.
The line I use the most, the one I believe will build my karmic equity better than anything and not tear it down, the one that will make butter drip from my tongue, the line that keeps me out of trouble the most because only those close to me ( and now you ) know about it;
He should live and be well.
Translation;
Dead To Me.
I know, I’m working on it….