It’s been said that you never really know a person until you’ve seen them with the flu.  It’s also been said that you should never ever marry a person without seeing them with the flu.  The flu, or in my case an upper respiratory infection with bronchial spasms, changes a person into a walking whining Nyquil commercial.  It’s not pretty.

I’ve had this “thing” in some form or another since the end of December.  It started out as one “thing” then morphed into another “thing” ebbing at times, lulling me into a false sense of security in the fact that it may well be gone.  Then it came back with a vengeance.

Let me start by saying, I don’t get sick.  That said, I got sick.  I’m not good at getting sick, everyone will tell you that and then they will laugh.  Because it’s funny… I can take it for a very long time i.e. the end of December, and then I’ve had it.  Let the rant begin; WTF with this thing, my face is like cement, there is no air going through or coming out of my nose.  My sinuses are so swollen that my TEETH hurt.  Post nasal drip?  We’re talking full on the tap is wide open but there’s nowhere for the drip to go, enter the cough.  Come on already.   So what do you take?  Decongestant?  Antihistamine?  Cough suppressant? Expectorant?  Oh OK take everything in the medicine chest including a shot of Afrin which I gave up long ago but desperate times call for desperate measures….was that air going through my nose?  Just a little, very little.

Don’t go to the doctor…you can hear your mother saying sarcastically in the back of your head.  Fine.  I go to the doctor with the full expectation of picking up a Z-pack and being on my merry way…but nooooo, I’ve gone viral.  This is no run of the mill bacterial infection, there is no miracle medicine, there is only:

Claritin  –  Musinex  –  Netty Pot

Seriously?  Oh yes and plenty of fluids and rest for at least one full day.  WHAT!!! A full day?

I love my friends but this would just have them in hysterics.  Evi could not contain herself.  Sandra couldn’t either.  My sister was a bit kinder but I could hear the laugher going through her head.  I CAN’T.  The most pragmatic answer to my ranting and raving by text came from Muriel, “damn that sucks.”  The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree…

The only person I could rely on to come through with a true the world is coming to an end because I’m sick was Rere….and that was even MORE annoying.

So as I’m about to begin my treatment regime I’m texting back and forth with a friend of mine trying to determine if we can do a catch up on Monday, if this GD upper respiratory infection (with bronchial spasms) goes away I lament and he is somewhat sympathetic giving me back a good-natured parody of my scheme of things post from the week before.  And then it hits me, like a brick.  This is a person who in his own personal scheme of things knows like he knows what it’s like to be sick, really sick.  And here I am pissing and moaning about my swollen sinuses.  Time for me to shut the hell up, I get it and suddenly I’m grateful, as he pointed out, in the scheme of things that this is just a cold on steroids.

Four gallons of Arizona Green Tea later, a full day on the couch dozing and reading and dozing and watching the TV chefs, 24 hr. Claritin, 1200mg Musinex, netty pot twice a day and wait a minute…I can breathe. The aches are gone, thankfully I can go and keep my hair appointment because if you’ve got to wake up with a cold you don’t have to be greeted from the mirror by Bomba the elephant boy looking back at you.

I’m sure my next bout with whatever the virus de jour happens to be will still aggravate the hell out of me but in the long run if I’m going to preach that “it’s just cars” and put yourself first, and see yourself well instead of harping on the inconsequential blah blah then I should indeed just shut the hell up and get out the netty pot.