Mom?
Yes Toti?
We can’t go out yet, it’s almost time to be quiet for Memorial Day.
Yes, Toti, let’s be quiet and think of all who gave all and the families they left behind.
Ok Mom.
Monthly Archives: May 2017
Happy Mother’s Day From A Father’s Daughter – 2017
Happy Mother’s Day Rere
I wondered if this had changed in the four years since I first wrote it. No, not really we are still, my mother and I, something…best described as comfortably, and now mutually, respectful.
She is now soon to be 87 years old and my father has been gone 12 years…12 years still seems like the day before yesterday and I remain very much my father’s daughter. My nest egg has grown and her’s remains wonderful as some frugal habits are hard to relinquish.
To her credit, and her benefit, the one time she didn’t start from no, didn’t say no, resulted in the love affair of the decade. She has developed a true and deep love of an old dog. She and Toti Nonna continue to save each other each week since Lina died. They are the reason each looks forward to the weekend.
I’ve had a new string of wonderful young people cycle through my life and on to live their fullest lives and I fully anticipate this will happen again and again. There is something to be said for being once removed from family where one can stamp their feet and empty their angst while filling their stomachs. I’d like to say I’ve perfected that particular method of being available.
Previously published in 2013:
She loves her Chinese food, me not so much. She has a million quips and quotes that somehow grew us up and we remember to this day. She is eighty three and like most people her age she concentrates on herself, some amazing survival instinct of the aged. She truly made a silk purse from a sow’s ear, she scrimped and saved and has a wonderful nest egg, me not so much but she is generous.
In the eight years since my Father passed we have become…something. Something more than we were and less than we will ever be. I have developed a certain respect for her charm, her ability to bring people to her and to make them feel…something. Loved, important, heard, special. She has a long line of people who will always remember how she made them feel. Including me.
But she and I couldn’t be more different in many ways. I am hopeful that I’ve been able to cultivate that ability of hers to bring people to me. Maya Angelou said today that her second greatest blessing has been her ability to turn people into children of hers. I’ve had a string of people that I believe turned into children of mine but have now moved on into wonderful and satisfying lives through new jobs, new relationships or reestablished relationships with their own mothers, and new…something.
You never really know the effect you’ve had on people, there are no Mother’s Day calls when people have taken your love and lessons and moved on to send those lessons into their own worlds. You can be grateful for the love and lessons you’ve received from a Mother you’re only now getting to know, love and respect. I am grateful for both the sending and the receiving.
Happy Mother’s Day to all.
What You Don’t See
When someone is kind enough to stop you before you head out to shoot.
They mention the skies and how they might affect your images.
They mention there might be a need to make adjustments.
And I hear them.
And I thank them.
And off I go.
Somehow I get caught up in the enormity of Storm King, which really can’t be described, and I begin thinking about scale. And composition. And conveying interest. Then somehow every time I view the play back I’m pleased. I looked at what I captured but I never really looked at what was missing.
Even after I was “cautioned” in the gentlest way.
By someone who knows.
The sky was blown out of nearly every image and I never even noticed. Not until I sat with my images and prepared to edit. Which got me thinking, was this the only place I was missing what I couldn’t see? How often have I been concerned with the scale, or composition or interest of situations or things but not the light?
Hindsight and the benefit of editing don’t always make themselves available. My post-production mentality might not always work to repair what reveals itself in hindsight. However, there are times when what you don’t see initially provides a happy surprise. Some of it will require much editing and afterthought, while some of what you don’t see simply turns out to be a blessing.
Learning to look beyond the scale, composition and interest for the light may be the bigger blessing. This was indeed about light, too much light and not paying attention to it. They say that living in the light equals enlightenment.
What does not seeing it at all mean? Only that there is more awareness required and a balance of the seen and unseen. After all the light is always changing why shouldn’t I.
To see more of this photo walk click here!
emerge
I had the pleasure of participating in another Liberated Lines this week. emerge was hosted by robin e. sandomirsky and Alisha Sommer through Instagram and a private Facebook page. They bring a synchronicity of purpose, beautiful and thought provoking questions and a safe place.
They make use of one of my favorite things, food for thought. While their gentle hand was guiding us along I realized I was decades beyond this group of soulful women. Decades in the literal sense. I realized that I had indeed emerged without realizing at what moment that might have occurred but it was long ago.
While I enjoyed the week immensely I was mindful and heart struck at the reminders from another decade being searched and soothed by the others. Decades I had long ago resolved and, yes emerged from, not unscathed but certainly the wiser. Their context was no longer my context. Where we converged was at the corner of I-know-like-I-know and I-don’t-know-what-I-don’t-know.
I was grateful to get to know these women and thankful they were strong enough and open enough to find themselves immersed and on the verge of emerged, at whatever time that might happen for them.
I embrace a beginners mind and my curiosity, also known as slinky syndrome, is never satisfied so I also found myself in a photography class……shooting in manual. And again, I was reminded that I love photography but probably not in the way one would expect. Most of what I enjoy is the anonymity of being behind the camera and lurking around. Finding those out of the way spots and moments that the rest of the crowd might miss.
I’m seeing more of myself emerge than learning the fundamentals of photography this incredibly good instructor, Greg Georgi is teaching. His approach is very laid back and informative and he’s all about shooting. Amen to that but…
Here’s’ what I’ve learned:
- I have a post-production mentality. I’m usually going face first into things and I’ll fix it later.
- I tend to look for the story not the F-stop so adjustments allude me at times.
- My eyesight is not conducive to manual focus.
- Trying to see the playback in the glare of the day aggravates the hell out of me which makes adjustments all the more elusive.
So I’m an accidental photographer, shoot enough and you’re bound to hit something. I truly want to learn to coordinate the triangle and I’ll try to interrupt myself to make adjustments but as long as my photos make me happy and no one’s depending on them I’ll be fine. There’s bound to be a story in there. Perfection really isn’t my thing, too boring.
So on a creativity scale of one to ten this week was a fifteen. I’m grateful to those exceptional people who share their knowledge and revel in the act of teaching and the care and feeding of hungry minds and souls and look forward to being with them again some time.
Have a good week, look for the ordinary moments they are truly what legacy is made of…