The Last of the Calla Lilies

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But then fall comes, kicking summer out on its treacherous ass as it always does one day sometime after the midpoint of September, it stays awhile like an old friend that you have missed. It settles in the way an old friend will settle into your favorite chair and take out his pipe and light it and then fill the afternoon with stories of places he has been and things he has done since last he saw you.” ― Stephen King

I confess I’m not a summer person, so while everyone is lamenting the shorter days and the snap in the air I love September.  It gives me a minute to get back to my garden after the screaming hot days of summer (although this year was not so bad) where you can’t prune or weed or plant or harvest.  Even though September begins the process of putting the garden to bed I still love it.  I begin with the Calla Lilies that are bent over and getting dirty but still producing those magnificent funnel shaped spathe bract.  Yes that’s what you call it, you can’t call it a petal you can call it a type of leaf.  As the leaves unfurl some of them become full on leaves and some bring this beautiful funnel enclosing a spike in its center.  In the spring the funnel will turn a velvety white but in the fall they remain the color of the leaves.

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There is so much folklore wrapped around the Calla Lily.  The phallic spike lends itself to spells and sorcery both to increase male sex drive and lessen male sex drive, to aid against impotency and to cause impotence, there is also a spell to keep him faithful.  The word Calla is Greek for magnificent beauty and so the flower has come to be associated with the Virgin Mary and purity.  This combination of attributes has made the Calla Lily a popular wedding flower representing the idealized virginity of the bride and the fertile future of the couple.  It is also a prominent funeral flower usually for those who may have died before their time.

“The calla lilies are in bloom again. Such a strange flower—suitable to any occasion. I carried them on my wedding day, and now I place them here in memory of something that has died.” ― Katharine Hepburn, Stage Door

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And so it’s fitting that the Calla Lily in my garden is one of the first to appear in the spring and the one in the fall to “kick summer out on its treacherous ass. “  Stephen King is right, once the Calla’s no longer whiten and begin to fall over the nostalgia and the stories seem to follow.  We are forced inside into comfortable chairs.  Just this morning we were reminiscing about Sol and Lena, former neighbors that I remember from fifty years ago. I remember them as vividly today as I did then.  They have become a part of my childhood that is dear to me.  I would spend hours at the back of their wrap around front porch playing with the doll house that Sol made.  The furniture was made of spools and match boxes and match sticks and scraps of fabric and lace and buttons.  Their house was filled with pictures in silver frames that were always polished.  These were the people they had lost, these were the talismans of their daily life to touch the frames and polish them kept them connected.  I have always said that someday I would name a set of dogs after them; so far I have my Lina.  There is still time to honor Sol.

I won’t miss the summer, I never do.  I believe Wallace Stegner when he muses,  “That old September feeling, left over from school days, of summer passing, vacation nearly done, obligations gathering, books and football in the air … Another fall, another turned page: there was something of jubilee in that annual autumnal beginning, as if last year’s mistakes had been wiped clean by summer.”

Many people believe that September is really the New Year.  There are renewed resolutions, fall cleaning for the predicted days inside to come, and the anticipation of filling the house with the smells of signature dishes.  September is one of my favorite months full of so much reminiscing and renewal and the grass is still green.

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Let Your Hands Tell Your Story

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From watching him play the other day – I recognize his hands in the picture, she mused.  My friend is talking about a street artist we had the pleasure of listening to just recently. I love his story but I don’t really know it. He was a clarinetist; he is a lover of Mozart and jazz. He plays it all on a table of water glasses down near the waterfront in Old Town Alexandria VA. How does one wind up as a street performer, how does one learn to play glasses of water, how do you find yourself in this position but still love what you do?

Elizabeth Gilbert wrote in Eat, Pray, Love; “We have hands; we can stand on them if we want to. That’s our privilege. That’s the joy of a mortal body. And that’s why God needs us. Because God loves to feel things through our hands.”  I find the thought of that fascinating and interesting somehow, but I think at the same time I knew it. Going back over some of my images I found many that reflected hands and I instantly knew the circumstances and the feeling that went with each image.

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If you find yourself holding someone’s hand when they need it most it will become part of your story. “One hand I extend into myself, the other toward others”, said Dejan Stojanovic. There are times they may not even realize you’re holding their hand, like when you teach them about living on their own, surrounding themselves with themselves and enjoying their own company, but you’ve made a difference in their life.

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This is especially true in the life of a dog. Trust, love, familiarity, your hands can convey all of these things. A dog knows your story better than you do sometimes. Never raise your hand to a dog but always extend it. DSC_9802 (2) 135 DSC_5809

And while you’re extending your hand to someone you love your story and theirs will become one. That wonderful time when you join your lives and as John Geddes so wisely said in A Familiar Rain…“…we’ve let go of so many things, but never each other’s hand …”  If the unthinkable happens and your lives are no longer joined it may very well be because you let go of each other’s hands, by choice or by circumstance. That too becomes your story.

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You will leave notes. DSC_0056

You will celebrate. 095

You will create.DSC_8494 You will ponder. 003

You will lend your hand. DSC_2043 (2)

You will reassure. DSC_0329

You will work. 198

You will discover. DSC_3199

And you will grow old. “…You won’t age? I promise you this – your hands will go shiny and transparent and at the slightest bruise they’ll bleed…”  ― John Geddes.

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But if you’ve lived your life through your hands in a way that God can “feel things”, your story just might be a beautiful one that people will tell over and over. Like Mozart’s for instance, being told to this day in concert halls and on street corners.

Look Up

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“A garden should make you feel you’ve entered privileged space — a place not just set apart but reverberant — and it seems to me that, to achieve this, the gardener must put some kind of twist on the existing landscape, turn its prose into something nearer poetry.” ― Michael Pollan, Second Nature: A Gardener’s Education

You may recall that last year around this time I lost myself in the tiny little community garden where my mother lives. I fully intended to volunteer there in the Spring but they wouldn’t have me. Not because I wouldn’t work hard or didn’t know what I was doing but because it was theirs. They needed to get dirty and dig and ache the next day all on their own. To feel alive, to feel productive, to sense accomplishment and to make days pass pleasurably.

Today was a perfect day to return to that garden and capture its beauty and the progress of the gardeners.  I thought I was alone but a few minutes in there was a man standing next to me pointing and escorting me around his plots of land. He is Korean, he didn’t speak much English, we understood each other perfectly.

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Michael Pollan believes the gardener cultivates wildness, but he does so carefully and respectfully, in full recognition of its mystery.” And so my new friend started me at the hedge of Cosmos. These can be invasive plants the kind I used to find everywhere in my garden, volunteers they are called. But here they are a carefully tended hedge, my friend showed me the exact start and end and how he uses them to protect his plants from the wind. He knelt down to blow on the baby lettuce beside the hedge.

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Come, he said. We worked our way through peppers, and tomatoes, and as we went along he showed me all the little curly tendrons that make for plants mobility. They wrap themselves around anything that will propel them and anchor them in place at the same time. I find I’m in love with these little squiggles and kept snapping away. He was delighted with everything he showed me pointing and clapping.

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He has even taken over the back end of the school next door’s lot on the other side of the fence. So he became very excited as he pointed through the fence and said, in English, Pumpkin. I was overjoyed at this hidden treasure and clapped with him. He couldn’t help but laugh, it’s ok, I’m used to it.

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Then he said, look up. And there in the trees were eggplants, hanging from the vines that had worked their way up the tree trunk and branches. The tree hadn’t flourished in years but was now lending itself to these vines. I must have lit up, he clapped and I snapped.

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That was the end of the tour it seemed as he walked away, he must have tired and laid down on a grassy spot near the Cosmos for a few minutes while I continued on to look at some of the other plots. I poked around the other well-tended plots and had a conversation with a little boy and lost track of time. When I turned back my friend had gone inside. You know I had to see what it looked like from that point of view too…looking up from that grassy spot.

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“As I leave the garden I take with me a renewed view, And a quiet soul.” ― Jessica Coupe

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Mise En Place

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The universe is in order when your station is set up the way you like it: you know where to find everything with your eyes closed, everything you need during the course of the shift is at the ready at arm’s reach, your defenses are deployed.

That quote is from Anthony Bourdain’s Kitchen Confidential.  A self-proclaimed rant fully intended for people in the business, they call it the culinary world now, not so much as an expose’ but as an affirmation for Chefs.  Written around the time the celebrity chef phenomenon was coming to life he truly believed it was a book for the real people in the kitchen.  He wanted to uphold what every chef knows, cooking is hard.  You try putting out meal after meal exactly the same way at the same quality.  You try doing anything over and over with perfection, it’s hard.

There have been a few articles lately on the subject of mise en place.  Pronounced meez ahn plass, literal translation, set in place.  NPR’s: The Salt did one titled:  For a More Ordered Life, Organize Like A Chef.  Their premise was if Americans were going to spend almost $10 billion dollars on personal organizing products they might want to adopt a mise en place mentality for a hell of a lot less.  They did allude to the deeper meaning to the Chef by saying: “Some cooks call it their religion. It helps them coordinate vast amounts of labor and material, and transforms the lives of its practitioners through focus and self-discipline.”  They went on to quote a senior at the CIA (Culinary Institute of America) “It really is a way of life…it’s a way of concentrating your mind to only focus on the aspects that you need to be working on at that moment, to kind of rid yourself of distractions”

Ron Friedman recently wrote about “How to Spend the First 10 Minutes of Your Day for the Harvard Business Review.   Quoting none other than Anthony Bourdain, “Mise-en-place is the religion of all good line cooks. Do not fuck with a line cook’s ‘meez’ — meaning his setup, his carefully arranged supplies of sea salt, rough-cracked pepper, softened butter, cooking oil, wine, backups, and so on. As a cook, your station, and its condition, its state of readiness, is an extension of your nervous system… He left out some of the more floral language, obviously he hasn’t worked in the business.

There are productivity companies out there with mise en place in their name.  They handle workflow management, paper management, email management, and e-document management.

With all these people talking about mise en place as basic organization I take exception.  I haven’t been in food service in over twenty years (slowly but surely I’m being dragged back in, in a good way this time) but I still live in mise en place.  Good life management is mise en place.   Again, Anthony Bourdain, “If you let your mise-en-place run down, get dirty and disorganized, you’ll quickly find yourself spinning in place and calling for backup. I worked with a chef who used to step behind the line to a dirty cook’s station in the middle of a rush to explain why the offending cook was falling behind. He’d press his palm down on the cutting board, which was littered with peppercorns, spattered sauce, bits of parsley, bread crumbs and the usual flotsam and jetsam that accumulates quickly on a station if not constantly wiped away with a moist side towel. “You see this?” he’d inquire, raising his palm so that the cook could see the bits of dirt and scraps sticking to his chef’s palm. “That’s what the inside of your head looks like now.”

I can’t begin to tell you what the inside of my head looked like; I wasn’t paying attention to my mise en place.  I forgot to gather my ingredients, sharpen my knife, keep my board clean, I lived in Plan B.  Plan B is NOT mise en place.   If you look around my home now I am surrounded by quality ingredients, not high end pricey “stuff”.  I’m surrounded by simple and meaningful.  You could spend days walking around my tiny home with me and learning the stories of each of my possessions.

A place for everything and everything in its place, thanks Ben Franklin.  It makes life easy, every day is the same but different.  It’s the same in its simplicity, its creativity, and its ease.  I can sit at my desk and reach for anything I need.  My tiny kitchen is perfect in its easy reach, organization, clean board, knives ready, fridge stocked.  My poor Sister might never live down the day she inadvertently (or maybe not) rearranged the contents of my fridge, and took the bag that I keep my apples in…I know how that sounds and I hope someday you’ll be there with me. Just sayin.

I have a list each day, it usually starts with an adjective, there’s a goal and prioritizing exactly as Ron Friedman suggests.  The list, or becoming one with the list as Wylie Dufresne, James Beard award winning chef and restaurant owner claims, is the basis for all good mise en place.  It cements your creativity and makes it attainable in a clean and precise manner.   The New Professional Chef puts it this way:  “mise en place means far more than simple assembling all the ingredients, pots and pans, plates and serving pieces needed for a particular period. Mise en place is also a state of mind. Someone who has truly grasped the concept is able to keep many tasks in mind simultaneously, weighing and assigning each is proper value and priority. This assures that the chef has anticipated and prepared for every situation.

Any good chef knows that prep is key.  There is more time spent on prep than anything else.  Menu development, recipe building, mise en place (prep) and the rest is production.  If all goes well in the first two, production is instinctive and the benefits are delicious.  Call it what you like but find some new religion people.  And, if you can, thank a chef.

If This Then That

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If your dog is fat, then you’re not getting enough exercise. ~Author Unknown

If you build it, he will come. Field of Dreams

I had the good fortune to lunch with a new colleague this week.  A lovely woman with a story, as we all are, who was overwhelmed with questions about how to go about her job, about what she should know, about her instincts, about her place in the department, about, about, about.  I found myself giving advice.  I didn’t think I gave advice but the words that came out of my mouth had come out before.  If this, then that.  What?  It’s a formula I use for too many things coming at me at once.  If this, then that.

I found this formula many years ago when I was learning Excel.  It truly is a formula, based in logic. Yes simple logic, conditional logic.  With an implication.  It’s just a compound sentence that can sort out what seems like insurmountable data.  Just basic programing that contains a trigger and an action.

But I find myself using it for everything.  I don’t even realize it sometimes.  Standing in front of the fridge I find myself saying:  If I eat that, then I’ll beat myself up all night, get adgita, weigh more tomorrow….Driving in the car: If I flip this guy the bird for thinking that he can cut me off then I’ll definitely chip away at my Karmic equity.  If I smile at this crabby barista then my coffee will be amazing and maybe their day will be better too.

I don’t add any words like: What if I?  No no no, that makes it an entirely different question and anything “what if” will definitely send you into an abyss.  That’s part of the coulda, shoulda, woulda family for sure.

And the “then” part should never be: and then I’ll be happy…oh no don’t do that.  If I lose weight, if I get a new job, if I find a new partner, if I dye my hair, if I wear these clothes…then I’ll be happy.  Stop that right now…If you want to be happy just make the choice.

This is a life formula but of course there are other if-this-then-that formulas.  IFTTT.com gives you recipes for anything from:  If the temperature in the house goes to 75⁰ then turn on the air conditioning. Prevents you from heat stroking the cat as I read recently on mashable.com.  IFTTT.com is pronounced “gift” without the G.  You can join the service for free and set up any number of trigger/action recipes. And yes, there’s an app for that.

Then there’s something called if/then planning.  You can use it for almost anything too.  For example: If it’s 2pm I’ll have a coffee.  If someone stays too long at my desk I’ll set a timer for five minutes and sound a reminder alarm for a “conference call”.  See ya yackity yack.  Or if it’s 3pm I finish answering my emails.  Many people find this if/then planning helpful by preventing aimless wandering through tasks that wind up taking longer than they should.

There are if/then charts for kids now too. If there is too much arguing then you will have additional chores.  It’s got a list of the most common infractions and consequences and can be purchased through doorposts.net.

Long before it was a service or a planning tool or a parental control is was simply a logical way to sort things out.  A beautiful formula to live by, one that you could call upon at any time, in any situation.

If you click here then you’ll get more good advice.