Author Archives: Sandi LoConti

Dinner on the Cape, Wednesday June 20th

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I always rely on the fact that the Cape will be at least ten degrees cooler than New Jersey.  Not today, its in the 90s.  Unheard of in June according to all the bitching I hear at the Buckie’s when I’m getting my latte.  Doesn’t stop me from getting my usual screaming hot latte and blueberry scone to have at the beach.  As my mother would say, you need something hot on a summer day to regulate your body temperature. Ok Ma.

I really enjoyed the beach today because even though it’s hot there is a wonderful wind coming off the water to keep things from getting to bad.  I’m reading, relaxing, thinking, sleeping.  Perfect.

I normally go back to Willow to walk the dogs, give them fresh water, have lunch and just get out of the sun for a while but today I linger.  There aren’t too many people around and it’s calm and I’m really enjoying my book.  Back at Willow the fan is going for the girls so they’ll be OK for an extra hour.  I enjoy the people watching on the beach, it’s mostly young families and locals and the over heard conversations can be quite interesting.  There is one group of women that sit off to the left side of the beach and preside as only the locals can.  One year I put my chair in their spot and boy did I get an earful, not directly mind you, but overheard in the wind was just as effective.  Never did that again.

I’ve been invited to have dinner with Trudi and a few of her friends tonight.  I wasn’t entirely sure I’d be up to it after a 90 degree day on the beach and I’m not always sure that I’ll fit in up here on the Cape so I was tentative at the invitation.  What the hell am I thinking?  If I’m going to break my habit of isolating myself then I should go. 

I picked Trudi and one of her friends up and off we went to The Port in Harwichport for dinner.  What an enjoyable evening with three wonderful, well read, well-informed and funny women.  We shared a bottle of wine and some very interesting conversation over fresh halibut that was delicious.  Trudi, ever the considerate one, asked me to elaborate on Ordinary Legacy.  I’m still working on my elevator pitch but thankfully everyone could relate and share some of their own legacy stories.  Thank you Trudi, for the invitation and for your support of my little passion. A good time and a most comfortable atmosphere with good food, wine and the company of three very interesting women was most appreciated.

More from the Cape

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Monday, June 18th

It’s cloudy and cold today on the Cape.  We’ve done our walk to Belmont Beach and the poor little house I love so much is getting more and more dilapidated each time I see it.  I’m letting it go,and its possible I no longer think a house is for me.  I’ve become accustomed to communal living and think I’d be much happier in a condo.  I’m not even sure that I want to retire to the Cape any more.  This wonderful place saved me on so many occasions but I’m learning that coastal living has its disadvantages as well as its rewards.  I wonder if the allure would all but disappear if I had to contend with the mold, the rust, the dampness, and the sudden shifts in temperature.  I brought my camera this trip and it occurred to me that considering all the years I’ve been coming here there really isn’t anything new to photograph.  That said, the girls are loving the back yard and they are so much fun to watch in full frolick mode.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

We walked in yesterday to find beautiful new cushion covers on all the furniture, Oh God no.  Needless to say they are covered with sheets because I’ll be damned if my girls will be the first to make a mess.  I know like I know that dodging bullets while on vacation on the Cape is definitely not for me.  Trudi ventured over for a minute and of course the girls forgot who she was and barked their heads off, but that wasn’t the real problem.  Lina put three claw holes in the newly screened back door.  Welcome to the Cape Jersey Girls…luckily Trudi is a dog person, she can cuddle up with Lina and just take it in stride.  So much for I’ll be damned if my girls…

Tuesday, June 19th

Well it’s a banner day for my Lina.  This is only the second day’s walk to the beach and she did NOT poop on the beach.  My little girl is growing up…which perhaps can’t be said about her mother.  Walking back from Belmont I lost my footing on the uneven pavement and went down like a ton.  It’s like flying only I was going the wrong way.  Scraped knees, elbows and road rashed palms.  Quite the vision as Jeanette would say.  The good news is that I discovered Neosporin with pain relief.  It’s a miracle that the young mothers of today know about and nicely shared with a middle aged woman who found herself ass up on Belmont.  The girls just cocked their heads to one side as if to say, what the hell Mom?  Nothing broken, just stiff and looking like an eight year old again. 

Didn’t stop me from going to the beach where it was much cooler that on Willow Street.  True to form the weather has changed to warm over night.   I started the Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin.  My dear Sandra knows exactly what to put in my path when I get stuck.  I am loving this book and its concept.

Later in the evening I had drinks, catch up and lively conversation with the Cronin’s and retired to Willow Street for a very good night’s sleep.

From the Cape, Sunday, June 17th, 2012

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Well Thomas, we’ve arrived. Sorry I wasn’t better company, I’ve had my neighbor Marty on my mind.  The obituary said he died “suddenly” and that to me just smacks of innuendo and, well , possible suicide.  I guess it all comes together when you consider he turned sixty in February and has been out of a job for the last two years.  He was so full of adventure that first year, riding his motorcycle every day, optimistic, friendly.  I guess his demons, as Mary calls them, got the best of him.  I recognized the signs, I’ve seen them so many times before but I know like I know there isn’t anything I could have done.  I’m really feeling for his children.  Grown though they are I’m sad that his death and Father’s Day are so close together, they will suffer doubly year after year.  But they are young adults just starting out and anticipating building their families.  They will keep him alive for their children and they will know him through them.  It reminds me that when Terri and I are gone it’s entirely possible that no one will utter your name again.  The sadness of that makes me tired sometimes.  It’s the reason why I write about you so much, perhaps that will keep your legacy alive.  I was thinking that the residual effects of life are what make up a legacy, I don’t know what the effects will be for Marty but I know that there is so much more to tell about you.  Thanks for watching over us, like I said we’ve arrived.

Decoration Day

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Did you realize the significance of those poppies the VFW are always giving away in exchange for a few dollars each Memorial Day?

In 1915, inspired by the poem “In Flanders Fields,” Moina Michael replied with her own poem: 

We cherish too, the Poppy red
That grows on fields where valor led,
It seems to signal to the skies
That blood of heroes never dies.

Decoration day became Memorial Day in 1868 and was first observed on May 30th 1868.  Moina Michael conceived of the idea of wearing the red poppy on Memorial Day to honor the war dead of our nation. The VFW created the “Buddy Program” in 1922 and continued the practice of selling poppies made by disabled veterans who would be paid for their work to provide some financial assistance.  Moina Michael’s image graced a 3cent stamp in 1948 as tribute to her contibution.

So what has Memorial day become?  After making Memorial Day the third Monday in May, it has become the “unofficial start of summer”, a sale day, a three day holiday of barbeques and shore runs.  It is losing its meaning as a day to honor our war dead.  Not to honor those who served, that would be Veteran’s Day, not to honor all the dead, really?  It is the day we honor those who made the ultimate sacrifice for our country and yes, for our freedom… to barbeque and shop and bake in the sun. 

In December 2000 the “National Moment of Remembrance” resolution was passed which asks that at 3 p.m. local time, for all Americans “To voluntarily and informally observe in their own way a Moment of remembrance and respect, pausing from whatever they are doing for a moment of silence or listening to ‘Taps.”

There is no more mournful sound then that of Taps, it will stop you in your tracks and bring tears to your eyes no matter how strong you are or how little you know of its origins.  It is a fitting tribute and the very least we can do in the sceme of what these heroes have done for us.

Subject: You Around?

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What do we ask of friendship except to be taken for what we pretend to be – and without having to pretend. ~Robert Brault

 

On the occasions I travel for business my usual dinner consists of soup, salad and a glass of white in my hotel room.  I’m usually catching up on email and completing anything I left hanging from the day.  This time some combination of good weather, good meetings and proximity to my friend Laura led me to send an email, subject: You Around?

Laura and I have close to nothing in common.  We are both women in the car business (enough said) and can both craft quite the snappy email on occasion.  We’ve been sending those emails back and forth for probably eight years?  I don’t even know how long.  On my visits to the dealership where she handles warranty administration there has never been time to sit down for a meal or even have a ten minute conversation.  I think the management of the dealership would switch into a paranoid frenzy if they thought for one minute we were talking about them, which oddly enough we don’t…and perhaps she might find herself in an uncomfortable position if they knew we were friends.

Up until now we’ve been friends through email.  But you know how you know that some people are just your kind of person.  They are genuine and funny and out of the ordinary and if you just had a minute to sit down and hear their story you would be instant old  friends.

So through whatever good fortune we were able to meet for dinner.  As the hours ticked by like minutes we shared our stories and boy we two have very interesting stories. There was not an uncomfortable moment in those hours.   I thoroughly enjoyed our visit and her stories of partner and kids and adventures and talents and how she came to be where she was and the person she’s become all more interesting and genuine than I could have imagined.

I couldn’t be more glad that we have little in common but the car business, we barely touched on cars, because there is so much more richness in the uncommonality  of us.  I think by the time we said goodbye we both realized our friendship was going to be a long and interesting one regardless of how often we see each other.  Love that…glad you were around and thanks for coming to Peabody!