When you know people for twenty five years they in turn know you.  You can’t hide, or make any new face they don’t already recognize.  You can’t clean up your past because, eh hem, they were there.  You can only be yourself, tell the truth and frankly you can just be.

We were women in foodservice.  Marge is still in foodservice professing, at one time, that it is in her blood.  Ridiculous but, God love her, she’s still in Manhattan working the salespeople to be their best.  I bailed long ago and Barb bailed shortly after me.

Foodservice distribution is a hard business.  There is no distributor loyalty and if your #10 green beans are 2 cents more than the other guy, the other guy gets the business. If you can’t deliver before lunch then you don’t get the order.  If you can’t call me on Monday at 4pm for Tuesday delivery you don’t get the order.  Oh my God, stop me I’m speaking that language again.

There is a deadline every day in foodservice distribution. I know, I was the one enforcing the deadline, the one they were whining to when they missed that deadline.  I was the one who had to hear them lament, “Picture this, I’m standing on the chair with the rope around my neck…I’ll do it if you don’t give me an extension to the deadline.  Kick the chair my friend you’re not getting an extension.  Getting nickel and dimed each day does not lead to good customer management.

What it does lead to are friendships that are born in the trenches, which cement in an instant and last for, well, twenty five years.  These women have been there for me in my very darkest hours.  They have sat at my kitchen table and not left until I was breathing again.  They allowed me to be the third wheel at any number of functions just to get me out in the fresh air.  They breathed for me when I couldn’t.

We have been very close for most of the time.  There were several years that I withdrew for reasons I can’t fully grasp anymore and it was not pleasant for me nor was it fair to them. Tragic things happened while I was gone and I deeply regret that I wasn’t standing next to them where I belonged. I hope I’ve apologized enough for that but the fact is once I took the first step back, I was back and so were they.

I’m not altogether sure how to explain that we are completely different people but we are exactly the same.  Marge is much more serious than she once was, Barb is deeply spiritual but amazingly funny and they are both fun to be around.  We were christened the Ladies Auxiliary (meaning supplementary, supporting, and ancillary) many years ago.  I say it was our first boss; a smart ass food guy who emphasized everything with his reading glasses and could drink you under the table. They both say it was our second boss; aptly named Batman, you know who you are you wanna be superhero, who could also drink you under the table but wasn’t quite so mean when he did so.  It was the 80’s what can I tell you…They thought we were ancillary to them but we knew better.  We were supporting one another in a crazy business that had daily deadlines, no boundaries, no time off (what’s a holiday again?) and plenty of atypical customers who had very little manners.  Did I mention I bailed quite some time ago and yet…?

At any rate, it was duly recognized then that the Ladies Auxiliary was something to be reckoned with and that still holds true today.  Do not mess with these women, I can still summon up that deadline enforcing, quick tongued lunatic that I was back then and so can they.  We will be supporting one another well into our old age (no Marge you’re not there yet for crying out loud) with no anticipated break in the monthly (or as close to monthly as possible) meetings anticipated.  We did decide tonight that there would be no red hats involved, but if you know me you already knew that.

See you next month, same place, and same time with coffee to follow.  Love you both.

September 18^th is my dear friend, best friend’s birthday.  I tend to miss it every year by a minute or two.  I don’t normally miss birthdays except for the people I love most apparently; I tend to miss Kyle’s too.  Though I miss their official birthdays I celebrate them and tell them as often as possible that I love them.  So here they are on the Cape for Sandra’s birthday.  I can’t screw it up this year.

Sandra is on Cape because of the accident she had back in January, you remember Whiteface had a thing or two (broken legs that is) to say about her lifestyle and slowed her way down.  I drove up to be by her side and the conversations went everywhere as you could imagine they would after a near miss.  What will life look like now?  What should the goals be going forward?  Well, one tiny little goal could be to celebrate your birthday on the Cape….just saying…might be nice…could work. What do you think?  Fast forward and here we are.

The weather was supposed to be a bit iffy but the Cape being its own little ecosystem (read finicky as hell) it turned out to be a beautiful day.  So let’s do the tourist thing and stroll around Chatham to shop and have a celebratory lunch.  Off we go.

Kyle and I have a very strong fondness for Chatham.  She found herself there after a traumatic event and scooped me up to bring me there after a traumatic event.  We went each year for many years and it seemed that either she or I or neither of us had some kind of thing to work out.  It was a salve for us and we looked forward to our time together there as only Summer Sisters could.  I’m so glad she could work out being on the Cape this year after her bout with breast cancer, sometimes I just can’t get close enough to her to give her all the energy and love I have for her.  But when we’re on Cape we know that we have enough love to pass back and forth to hold us for a while.  She’s got adjustments to make and life and style changes of her own to work out but I have the utmost faith that she will arrive on the other side of this as only she can, with grace and determination to continue to make her way in the world.  I’ve said it a million times, she is the smartest woman I know and I admire her more every time I see her.

Now we’ll bring Sandra there to poke around and shop and walk and eat and just be on the Cape toward making her new found life and style come together.  It’s funny the things one thinks will put them on a new path.  For Sandra it seemed to be about a more outward vision and so we found ourselves at the optical center in Chatham.  Get it?  Trying on glasses and imagining their effect not only on the people you’re planning to do business with but on your own reflection back from the mirror. Are they me, is this what I want to put out there?  Do they convey what’s happened to me and what I’ve gained from it?  Oh we found the perfect pair but we’ll come back later to be absolutely sure. 

So what would take your mind off such a weighty decision, lunch of course.  Sandra’s birthday, what would you like to eat.  Lobster roll, well if you’re going to do the tourist thing you may as well eat like one…or maybe not.  In the middle of Chatham is a place we passed on the way to the Squire named Celestino’s Café.  We sized up the items on the menu board and dismissed it as too expensive for dinner.  But lunch?  The items on the lunch menu board looked beyond appetizing and quite reasonable so we took a chance.  Imagine Dijon mussels, fresh salads with strawberries and goat cheese.  Imagine grilled cheese taken to the next level by using brie and lobster.  And thankfully a beautiful lobster roll for our birthday girl.  And oh yeah a bottle of wine…chardonnay that was light and fruity enough even for me.  Did I mention we topped it off with dessert, I mean three desserts, one more delicious than the next. Hours spent at a table over lunch is somehow much more decadent than going out for dinner.  We were the ladies who lunch enjoying the food and each other’s company. 

So now there is shopping to complete.  We continued our way up Main Street poking in and out of stores and people watching and chatting all along the way.  Back at the optical center and yes we’ll take those beautiful tortoise shell frames that are just big enough to make a statement and just classic enough to say I know a thing or two.  Perfect.

Back on Willow we sit around happily with our books and our nibbles (because dinner is the furthest thing from our minds) in companionable silence until we just can’t keep our eyes open another minute.  Happy Birthday my dear friend, the rest of your life and your wonderful style will be far reaching. Love you.

Everyone wake at your own pace, do what you need to do in the morning to get yourself going.  For me that means saddling up the girls (you know I mean the dogs right…) and walking straight down Belmont to the beach.  It’s a bit under a mile; we walk the length of the beach once we get there, and then back.  It’s a great walk and the girls get out all their excess energy so the day is very relaxed.  Take off my shoes outside the back door and head for the espresso machine.

I have had my share of espresso machines over the years, I even purchased one to keep on the Cape (that is a story in itself), but the one I have now is awesome. Showed everyone how to use it, one touch, hot espresso with a beautiful crema, separate milk aerator and you are golden in under a minute.  Only problem is the amount of coffee I drink now could fuel the entire town of West Harwich. 

Linger over coffee, talk and laugh and talk some more.  Consider breakfast and then all of a sudden we have places to go.  We have a plan; pack up the beach fah fah, off to the Buckey’s for breakfast-to-go (you know mine turned into lunch and afternoon snack) and over to Pleasant Road beach we go.  I love Pleasant Road beach, its big enough to spread out, long enough to take a walk and stretch your legs after sitting for hours.  Yep hours.  And it has a bathroom, just sayin, all that coffee has to go somewhere.

It was a perfect September beach day on Monday, low seventies, bright but not searing sunshine, and no wind just a bit of a breeze.  None of us were in bathing suits but rolled up sweats, tank tops and a hoodie (just in case) filled the bill perfectly. We talked, we read, we walked, we slept and we didn’t leave until late afternoon.

Off to the store to buy ingredients for dinner, back to the house to pour the first inch of the day and start cooking.  I love cooking with friends, the whole chopping and prepping, sharing of duties in the kitchen really jazzes me up.  I learn so much from cooking with friends about food, about cooking techniques and about them.  Dinner is served on the deck, wine is flowing, animated conversation naturally follows and the day slowly comes to an end.

There you have it, the perfect day on the Cape with friends.

What an amazing combination.  Joining me this time on the Cape are two of the most amazing women I know.  I’m pretty sure you know them by now too.  What a year it’s been for both my Summer Sister Kyle and my best friend Sandra.  But not to worry, they’ve come to the Cape where all is right with the world, if only for a few days, to be with me and my little (ok big) rescue girls Toto and Lina.  I can’t begin to tell you the pleasure it gives me to have them here for the first time in so long.  I just cannot stop smiling at seeing them in the same room at the Cape.

I had a wonderful ride down with Sandra where we caught up on all things big and small.  Kyle would join us later after visiting with her childhood friend in Connecticut, yet another amazing woman who I have the pleasure of knowing.

Kyle and Sandra know each other but not yet well enough to call themselves friends.  They are both the kind of women that can make themselves and others comfortable in any situation and true to form they/we created a relaxed atmosphere of sharing everything from fashion to housing to business to reading to health and wellness that would bring us all closer together.  So amazing are they that even the quiet moments were not the least bit uncomfortable.   I’m reminded of the old saying that the best kind of friend is one you could sit on a porch with, never saying a word, and walk away feeling like that was the best conversation you’ve ever  had.  I have been on the porch with each of these women and now we know we can sit on the porch/beach together and feel the same way.

And of course there would be food and wine.  You’re shocked I know. For many years Kyle and I would find ourselves on the Cape after a logistical free for all that would mean her flying to a few airports and me picking her up at some tiny little airport along the way or driving in separate cars or driving all the way down to me so that we could drive all the way up to the Cape.  Sounds crazy, but so strong was the need to get together for the hug and the face to face how-you-been that we just made it work.  The carrot at the end of the stick was the drop the bags and head to the Squire first night in.

Isn’t it funny that upon arrival I zero in on a wireless modem in the entertainment unit?  I have been begging my friends, the Cronins, to put in wireless for years.  I think they wanted to insure anyone visiting the Cape would not have the distraction of email, internet, and technological blah blah but oh what a pain in the butt it was to drag everything to the Dennis Library to connect.  I have the kind of job that it’s just me doing this little program so it’s to my advantage to check in at least once or twice a week when I’m away.  Being overwhelmed at the end of a vacation by the sorting and answering of email can cause the good effects of that vacation to dissipate into thin air.  So there it was, let’s connect…of course I can’t figure out the pass key and have to drag Terry over to translate. Thank God he recorded the Pat’s game or we would have waiting just a bit longer.   The advantage of wi-fi became evident in the sharing of sites, the checking of Facebook and the overall relief of all of us being able to “lurk”, as Kyle would call it, on what was going on back home.  We would all be able to retain the good effects of this little vacation once we got home.  So once again, thank you Cronins for putting in wi-fi on Willow.

So anyway, we arrived on the Cape pretty close to each other and we dropped the bags, ok maybe we opened the wine and plugged in all our devices first, and piled into the car and headed for the Squire.  The Squire is that place in the middle of Chatham that draws you in and feeds you well.  I feel they have one of the best clam chowdah’s on the Cape.  The draw for Kyle and I has always been the lobster.  We don’t even get changed from the trip because you know you’re just going to be covered in lobster drippings and butter and clam juice up to your armpits and frankly they don’t care what you look like at the Squire.  No amount of sani-wipe will get rid of that smell, although I’ve taken to using the lemon to clean up and that seems a bit more pleasant.   They don’t rush you, probably because you’ve been waiting to be seated for about a half hour. They treat you like neighbors even though they know you’re probably just here on vacation, they wouldn’t chance your feeling unwelcome.  And the lobster is always spot-on delicious.  That is the way to start your vacation on the Cape.  Fully satiated, back to Willow where three women who shared wine, lobster and good conversation could not share another word because they were so exhausted.  I won’t tell you what time it was we all retired to our rooms with our devices and probably all wound up with our reading glasses at the end of our noses sound asleep….

p.s. By the way that is not water in front of Sandra but Beefeater and tonic, just saying….let the girls weekend begin.