Category Archives: Ordinary Pet Legacies

They make us laugh, they make us cry. We live with them and we lose them. They are our family and they will leave extraordinary legacies.

I Know Like I Know 2012

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I guess I’ve got a way of looking at things that’s a little different than most. So many of the people I’ve talked to recently are soooo glad that 2012 is over.  They swear it was the worst ever.  I had this, I had that.  I couldn’t wait for this year to be over sadly wishing it so.

Someone I know has a friend that reminds them never to wish time away. I agree, so as I look around at the end of 2012 all I see are little moments, momentum and mostly healing.

Beginning in January, with an Angel in the audience of Wicked, we were touched by a stranger that set my sister’s true healing in motion.  Here was another person who knew her pain but had the courage to walk up and let her know you will be ok, you will always have him and you can go on.  Keep your touchstone it will move you forward when you are stuck. This courage was transferred to my Sister when she became mentor of the year of firsts for her friend Linda.

In the same day, my dearest friend suffered a skiing accident that provided an epiphany of sorts that set her on the road to growth, of both those broken legs and the spirit she had put aside.  Then my summer sister came to the end of her chemo sessions and triumphantly had her “port” removed shortly before coming to the Cape for a wonderful little vacation.  There,we three women talked and laughed and walked and read and ate and cooked and enjoyed each other’s company.  We created a calm and healing three days that restored me from all the burdens I had been carrying on their behalf.  I could let it all go, they would be fine.

Finally healed from a long resistant infection my mother acquiesced to cataract surgery.  Miracle of miracles she can see so beautifully now she’s picked up, after so many long years, her love of books.   My friends Linda and Corrine would also battle infections that were potentially life threatening through to the end with grace and kvetching and bitching and moaning and gratitude and relief.  They are both in good places now with only the usual aches and pains of everyday life.

My people are fine. For all their little inconveniences, neighborhood disputes, crazy kids and work and struggle they are fine.  They are thriving, I can tell by the intensity of bitching going on.  It’s been greatly reduced, quiet even.  Is that gratitude in the air?  Nah, just a temporary lapse in things to bitch about; or a full on awareness that I don’t suffer bad energy any more.  They will bring good momentum in spite of themselves.

My little moments happened on my deck, on Sunday mornings, in convertibles, lunching with good friends, on my walks, reading my books and writing my tiny little blog.  My big moments happened when I became one of two Aunts to a little puggle named Chevy, when I had coffee with my Father during a Hurricane named Sandy and when the transformation of my home was completed.

There was some contest that promised as its prize; $10,000 and a Handyman for a Week.  I never entered the sweepstakes but thought, yeah that’s all I need.  Yeah, 10k and a handyman for a week, let me keep that out there. This is the point where my sister says, “Of course you did”.  Months later a flyer on my door, a revelation from my Mother that you should have this while I’m alive, and my bathrooms are complete. (Of course they are.)  Add to that the fan that hangs on my deck, the newly tiled foyer and my handyman turned good friend and this was a banner year on Stowe Lane.  Everywhere I look in my home I am happy.  Two wonderful compliments came our (meaning mine and my home’s) way recently, “your home is so three dimensional” and another friend walked in for the first time and said, “I knew it would look like this”.  Nothing makes me smile (MMS) more than being comfortable, safe and surrounded by the history in my home and sharing that history with anyone who enters.

Sadly we lost Gramma Velda this year, and the only man Nicole really knew as a father, and Linda lost her Burt, and Mick lost his Sassy.  We said farewell to adults, and dogs and children we didn’t even know but who touched our hearts quite deeply.

Yet I believe this was a wonderful year.  For all that can ever go wrong, nothing that couldn’t be surmounted ever did.  For all that did happen, silver linings and happy endings are making their way into our hearts.  Good health is being restored and strengthened, community is being fortified, and work is meaningful and thankfully abundant.

Healing can take many forms, it can happen without your ever even realizing it, it can happen slowly, it can happen with epiphanies and it can happen when you least expect it.  But it can only truly happen when you can finally see it. I know like I know that I am blessed to be among you and wish you continued momentum, little moments and the vision to see the proof that healing is always right before your very eyes.

“Some people see scars, and it is wounding they remember. To me they are proof of the fact that there is healing.”
― Linda Hogan

 

 

 

Farewell Sassabeana

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Sassy LoConti crossed the rainbow bridge on Christmas Day 2012.  She was a brave little girl who survived Katrina while pregnant with five pups.  She gave birth at a kill shelter in Georgia but was rescued, pups and all, by Ruth and adopted into the LoConti family along with one of two surviving pups, Tootsie.

She had three or four bouts of cancer and her Dadda took good care of her even if it meant a huge financial sacrifice.  She did the best three legged walk after each surgery, ever.  She damn near killed me when she took off after a loud mouth duck at the Manse Barn pond because I was too stupid to let go of the leash.  Yeah one day before leaving for the Cape I slammed down on my shoulder.  She came over to me and just licked my face, making it all right.

I knew I couldn’t take you with me but I never once thought you could be in any better hands than with your Dadda.  You needed each other and you took good care of each other.  Never did I forget you, never will I forget you.  Go in peace little girl, your fight is over, now you can rest.

Chevy Update-Adopted!

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I never knew until that moment how bad it could hurt to lose something you never really had. ~From the television show The Wonder Years

It’s one of those lessons you learn over and over again.  In the spirit of Thanksgiving I am grateful that our little Chevy has found a forever home. I’m also sad as hell that it wasn’t with Aunt Tootsie.

In a series of funny, happening at the same time, one of us lurking one way while the other was lurking another way texts, our Thanksgiving holiday unfolded something like this:

Me to Toots:  There’s a video of our little Chevy on his 11th Hour page.  He’s got a foster home. Thought you should know.

Toots to Me:  LOL Thought you should know his foster family couldn’t “handle him” so we are taking him home for the weekend until 11th Hour reopens after the holiday.

Me to Toots: LOL that little dog is going to wind up with you yet.

Toots to me et al:  He’s back!!!!!!!!!!

And their holiday unfolded with joy and two dogs playing and the family getting to know him and snuggling on the couch while watching the game, and falling asleep to the sound of small doggy snoring.  Thankfulness all over the place.

Come Friday, you hear the news you think you were hoping for all along and suddenly you’re taking that same damn ride to Mt. Olive again to meet a possible forever family.  Aunt Toots was asked to do the second meet and greet with the prospective forever family.  They passed the application criteria.  They have a puggle girl (according to Toots not as cute as Chevy). They know the breed.  Now the only thing that remains is for the two dogs to meet.

Toots to me et al: Chevy is adopted and has a sister Lulu! I met the family and they are thrilled.  Me…Not so much, I’ll miss the little fella.

Me to Toots:  You did a wonderful thing Toots, your status in the universe is permanently cemented, love u

Toots to me et al:  ….It’s all good.  Lots of tears…again! Mark is taking me for a Bloody Mary.  Love u all.

So in the scheme of things the Bloody Mary will help for a minute but lessening the imprint left on Aunt Tootsie’s heart might take a minute or two more.  It’s what we want for any shelter dog, the opportunity to have a forever home of their own.  The trick is not to get attached in that shadowy period between you’ve got them until they’ve got a good home and you’ve got them and don’t ever want to let them go. Nearly impossible to do unless your heart can be dragged out and tucked back in with the greatest of ease.  Only after many foster dogs can the ache be minimized but I assure you even the strongest of foster Momma’s shed a tear.

As for our darling, Tootsie I meant what I said about her status in the universe. As she has planted, so does she harvest; such is the field of karma. ~Sri Guru Granth Sahib

 

 

 

 

 

Two Aunts and a Chevy

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A “perfect storm” is an expression that describes an event where a rare combination of circumstances will aggravate a situation drastically. The term is also used to describe an actual phenomenon that happens to occur in such a confluence, resulting in an event of unusual magnitude (Webster).

So picture a friend of a friend who is moving on November 1st, a well-intended Mother who wants the best for her ADHD son, an adorable puggle who needs a home and you’ve got this past weekend. Along with Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday.  Doesn’t sound like a lifetime but it damn near felt that way.

I’m that person that says, Let me see if I can help.  Please God, put your arm around my shoulders and your hand over my mouth.  Send out a few emails, see if anyone knows anyone and somehow my friend Ev says, hmmmmm.  Oh no you don’t and I initiate a campaign to stop the rest of the what-if from coming out of her mouth.  You are not dog people.  You’ve never had a dog before.  It’s a fifteen year commitment.  All those little mini vacations you like to go on would cost even more now.  Oh yeah, the expense can be astronomical.  You would have to keep everything super clean and off the floor.  There would have to be rules and boundaries.  Did I mention the expense?  I thought of her, and told her so, as I was writing the 217.00 check for Lina’s UTI.  See….  I don’t know if it’s for you.  Yes I know that ADHD kids respond well to dogs but but but but but.  Oh my God how do I stop this?

I text my friend with the friend who is moving, is the dog still available?  Can they meet the dog? Yes they can.  I text Ev.  There is that moment that you absolutely know you’ve made a mistake.  The reply comes back, Daniel saw the message and is getting all excited.  Valuable lesson number one, do not let your kids near your GD phone, its personal.  Valuable lesson number one to me, never text Ev again.

Sunday 4:38pm the text reads:  Don’t know how this happened but we now have a dog.  My reply, from the pit of my stomach: Not surprised in the least, good luck, take good care of little Chevy.

And downhill it went from there.  He’s two years old, he has a ton of energy, he’s walking them, he’s over stimulated, and he’s tearing up the dog bed.  OMG what have I done.

Tuesday 6am the text reads: We can’t keep Chevy, nobody is sleeping, I have a rash and everybody is on edge.  It’s sad but we can’t. Of course the woman can’t take him back, she’s moving.  Send me a picture.  I send it out to all the people I know and get places to call and people to see.  We send out his picture, he is the cutest damn thing you ever saw.

Now I’m presenting at a meeting for the MINI group.  I happen to be sitting next to another dog person extraordinaire, Tonine.  We start texting back and forth about this little guy.  Now don’t even start about us sitting next to each other texting, it’s a meeting for God sake and this is really a crisis.   The inkling of the two Aunts team is beginning to hatch.

She knows someone who fosters, they know someone who has an agency, and pictures are sent.  People are getting excited about fast placement. And a plan is born.  The only thing we need are the Vet records.  The woman doesn’t have them, can she get the name of the Vet.  I get my friend back involved.  It’s all in motion but I need to get the dog out of that house.  I tell Ev I’m coming for the dog, ok she’ll meet me there.

I get there a few minutes before her. Did she tell her family?  I don’t think so because when I show up they’re happy to see me…..then it hits them.  I’m taking the dog.  Everyone starts crying.  I’m ok with being the bad guy, truly I am, because the end result will be best for everyone.  I can assure you though that there is nothing more heart wrenching than watching a family in pain.  Ev, get your family in the house and close the door.

Off we go, Chevy and Aunt Sandi to meet up with Aunt Toots.  The plan, and God if it doesn’t work we are screwed with a capital S, is to bring Chevy to her mother-in-laws back yard to meet Chloe.  Chloe is Tonine’s dog who will be hosting Chevy at their house tonight.  We hope.  Should be fine.  Chloe loves other dogs.  How the hell are we going to pull this off?

I pick up Tonine, of course she loves Chevy, off we go to meet up with her husband and Chloe.  We get there first and let Chevy into the fully fenced backyard.  Have you ever seen the picture of the dog running with his ears flying in the wind all full of joy?  This was our little Chevy.  He ran and ran and fetched the ball.  Between Tonine and I we had him walking perfectly on the leash, sitting on command, bringing the ball back and fetching like a pro.  Then came Chloe.  I know you think it went bad but it just got better and better. They are playing like old pals. Thank you God, please put one in the owe you column.  Ok maybe more than one.

Tonine kept me posted through the evening with pictures and quips.  All was well at their house.  In my head I’m thinking….here we go again.  They are falling hard for this little cutey.

I finally get the Vet records and there are shots missing.  My Vet takes us in at a moment’s notice, we bring Chevy for a quick exam and his shots and off we go to drop him off in Mt. Olive at the rescue.  But wait, my poor partner in crime is a mess.  I knew it…………………do I really have to take this dog away from a crying person AGAIN? Am I that heartless?  Apparently.

The drive was quiet with Tonine repeating “it’s all good” as if it were a salve she could put on her heart.  Chevy is snuggling and telling a story and whimpering on occasion.  This is not going to be good.  Are you sure you can’t keep him?

We arrive, we talk to the people at Eleventh Hour Rescue and they are wonderful.  There are people putting in applications according to Tonine’s friend Jill.  It’s all good, more salve.  More tissues, more second thoughts more emotion.  Another damn perfect storm.  Let’s get a picture and then I’m taking you out of here.

So you think I made it all the way through without shedding a tear right?  Not a chance.  Toots and I walked arm in arm out the door and never looked back.  With tears running down our faces and hope in our hearts that our little Chevy would be in a forever home very very soon.

I gave Tonine a new mantra, “we did good today”.  No good was going to come from anyone other than the two Aunts taking care of this.  No good was going to come from placing him in a shelter.  Our Karmic equity went off the charts today and I hope that she and I will never have to do anything like this again.  What I know like I know is that I truly hope that she and I will be friends for many years to come such is the love I have for her depth of feeling and selflessness.  What she knows about me is that I’m tough, I can do the hard stuff but am eternally grateful for the arm in arm walk and the solidarity of emotion she allowed me.

We thought that Two Aunts and a Chevy might be a great name for a rescue.  It would be, but not for us.

 

 

Nostalgia Walk

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This morning was pretty cold when we started out and pretty dark too.  It wasn’t quite tights-under-your-sweats cold and I had on just the right layers to make for brisk walking and no stripping down half way through.  It was perfect really.  I had on a bright red fleece that, for some reason today, reminded me of a fleece I used to wear walking over twenty five years ago.  It belonged to my former husband’s late brother who once ran track at TZ High School.  It was old school fleece, thick and nubbley with the sewn in cuffs and zippers at the legs so you could get in and out easily.

There was a time when I walked every morning no matter the weather or the amount of sun light.  It was a terrific walk, usually with my sister-in-law, around my neighborhood.  We did a one mile loop around the tiny little park with the duck pond, up the hill, through the back roads then back on to Oak Tree Road and home.  We talked everyday about everything and the walk went very quickly, especially in the winter months. And then we didn’t walk anymore.  Things changed and I was very hurt for many years by our abrupt halt to the morning ritual.  I know why and I no longer fault anyone and have finally let it go.  I felt the hurt leave my mind and body as I watched her walk away from my new home, irony at its best.

When I first arrived on Stowe Lane I ventured out for a walk with the girls and it was quite an escapade with two scared rescues.  This morning I realized just how far we’ve come.  We’ve honed our lives and our walk to fit where we are in life.  We’ve reversed the route just recently, originally to avoid the lunatic dog that the woman around the corner keeps off leash, to include the hill side of Mark Twain.

What I also realized this morning with the chill in the air, the red fleece, the hill, the neighbors waving on their way to work, the sidewalks, the duck pond on Mark Twain, the very good company I was walking with is that I didn’t lose anything.  I’ve gained a neighborhood, two walking partners who listen to every word I say (mostly) and the comfort of a home that is blessed.

 

Ever wonder where you’d end up if you took your dog for a walk and never once pulled back on the leash? ~Robert Brault