Category Archives: Pause Points

Ordinary legacy moments in time.

Art

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I do not believe in bare walls. In my theory of everyone should surround themselves with only things they love, I believe art plays an enormous role. This was an art weekend. Art is a broad term, described by Richard Wollheim as “one of the most elusive of the traditional problems of human culture”. Yes, that broad.

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Art is a human activity that brings to it imagination, technical ability, creativity, performance, or interaction. The shape or quality of one’s art form, will ultimately fall within a particular genre, and one’s style will emerge by using a distinctive method. It is an act of courage like no other to create art and put it out for the world to judge. This is truly legacy in the making.

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People are quick to place value judgments based on emotion, art is either understood or misunderstood. Art expresses something as lofty as the human condition, as fleeting as an emotion or as simple as a smile. I’ve come across many a piece I didn’t understand and I’ve listened to many a curator speak in terms I thought were ridiculous but because I didn’t get it doesn’t mean someone else won’t find it incredible.

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The purpose of art seems to be two fold; non-motivated and motivated. Non-motivated leans to the basic human instinct for harmony, balance and rhythm. One experiences the mysterious, can’t help but express their imagination and funnels themselves through symbolism. For those who practice a motivated style of art they are simply communicating, entertaining, or healing. This simplistic boiled down explanation of the purpose of art would surely be disputed by anyone/everyone in the “art world” but if you think about each of these expansive words you see how one could go on and on…so too the purpose of art.

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I have been the recipient of some incredibly beautiful art. The generosity of that gift still fills me with gratitude and the art still takes my breath away. I hope to be that generous to those nearest to me one day. There is a small collection being built as we speak.

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There is so much to see, so many people creating, so many different genres and ways to experience art. There is always an instant connection to art, it can leave you scratching your head, disgust you or take your breath away. Whichever reaction you have I encourage you to continue to observe, question, experience, and surround yourself with the art of whatever genre takes your breath away. No reason for bare walls when you could surround yourself with the inspiration of another human being.

 

 

I’m Back

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Lenovo

Back and Macless but not without a story…you’re shocked I know.  There is a reason why my adventure into the world of Mac didn’t work out, not just because some people are Mac people and some people aren’t.  Even though I had a Mac Guru there was a reason why he was unable to assist due to family and work constraints.  You’ve heard me say it before if it’s not a blessing it’s a lesson.

The Mac went back and I began the hunt for another laptop, windows based, light weight, beautiful grahics blah blah blah.  If you type those characteristics into google several brands come up.  Now I start asking around and see who’s using what beyond Mac.  Then I ask a friend…one of my former employees from a thousand years ago works for Lenovo…what do you suggest?  Several instant messages later not only does she confirm my recent research she assists in the sale…it was a lovely and generous assist but for me her reasoning was the most heartwarming thing I’ve heard in a very long time.  Ghandi said you may never know what effect you have in the world but if you do nothing there will be nothing.  Apparently I did something for her many many years ago that I had no knowledge of, I was doing my best as her manager and she never forgot me and felt I did more than my best. I have watched her become a woman of substance, a loving mother and beautiful soul over the last several years and my heart bursts for her with every new and exciting life hurdle she overcomes.  I could not have been more flattered or humbled by her loving words and generosity.  This is why the Mac didn’t work out.

It also didn’t work out because I chose it for all the wrong reasons.  Initially when my laptop died I first asked all the creative people I know and they unequivocally said they use Mac…so that’s what thought I had to do too.  The thing is it doesn’t make me less creative if I don’t use a Mac, doesn’t make them more creative because they do…I was trying to follow something that I wasn’t, I was negating all the expertise, experience and background I had in Windows for something I thought I should be using if I wanted to be considered creative.  The medium you use does not determine your level of creativity…ever. I will never again discount my experience, expertise or hard earned background to follow a crowd. Lesson learned.  By the way, all of that expertise and experience is the reason why so many people find it difficult to assimilate to Mac, it gets in the way.  I’ve been saying intuitive my ass for that very reason.  The youngest of the young can open the box and begin using those products mainly because they lack context, for them lack of context equals intuitiveness.   Ok, I’m done with that now…maybe.

Now my laptop is ordered complete with all the bells and whistles, my preferred software and the wait begins.  Now mind you I don’t have a laptop………what I do have is a camera full of images, 40gbs to be exact, and nowhere to do my work.  Here’s another reason why this happened, I’ve learned to value my work.  My work, not the job I do each day that pays the mortgage, my work.  My words and images and thoughts and observations and tastes and smells and recognitions and on and on.  My work. I missed my work.  I found myself wallowing in several different unproductive waist high marshes of boredom and television watching.   Until I had to travel for a few different reasons and downloaded some very pivotal audio books. Bless you Brene’ Brown and Marie Kondo for putting your work out in the world for me to grab on to and go.

You all know I can fill a construction grade big green garbage bag but putting your house in order according to Marie Kondo takes it to a whole new level.  The amount of nostalgic hold me backs that went in the trash or got donated lifted a weight I never even knew I was carrying.  Not done yet but the really hard stuff is going to require supervision…just sayin.

Finally my laptop is making its way from Shanghai, probably from the plant next door to Apple (but I digress) and should arrive on Monday 10-5-15.  The thing is it arrived early, does that ever happen (do not roll your eyes), on Friday 10-2-15 after I’m visiting my mother for her care update meeting I come home to the notice on the door that says we’ll be back on Monday.  Oh no you won’t………………I call UPS and beg them to get a hold of the driver, he’s out of the area already. Really?  The notice on the door was delivered 20 minutes ago.  Ok, yes hold it at the Customer Center and I’ll pick it up tonight.  What time?  Between 8-9pm.  Well I thought why not go down there early, bat my eyelashes use my best can ya help a sistah out routine and see what happens.  Here’s the thing, there is no one there UNTIL 8pm.   I drove down there in the pouring rain during rush hour to try and work a thing, lesson learned.

What the hell am I going to do for an hour and a half?  There is a huge mall a few miles from the UPS Center and I make my way over there, chiding myself the whole way about thinking I’ll get in and get out of there with my laptop under my arm, and find myself in the parking lot near Lord and Taylor when someone pulls out of a first row, six spaces in parking place….best parking karma ever.  Again, do NOT roll your eyes.

As I get out of the car I notice my phone is about to die…I plug it in and go.  No phone, no contact, just me soaking wet headed into the mall.  I walk through Lord and Taylor and beyond the mall side entrance is an oasis called…wait for it…Aroma Espresso Bar. Behind the counter is Lamar, who asks how I’m doing and takes my order.  I know what I looked like, a nearly drowned rat with a bit of the shivers, so Lamar assured me he’d make everything piping hot.  Amen.  There are no pictures with this post because my phone was left in the car but Lamar set the most beautiful tray in front me complete with croissant, a chocolate, and napkins.  My latte had a gorgeous foam art heart that instantly warmed me.  I couldn’t thank this young man enough.

And so I sat people watching, writing in the journal I always have with me and sipping my latte.  The heart never lost its shape, with each sip I took a bit went down my throat but it always kept its shape and there’s the lesson, if you work from your heart it will always keep its shape….I have been working from my heart all day with my new laptop, blessing the people who helped get me through to this day Muriel, Linda, Anthony and Lamar, and utterly enjoying my work.  Amen

 

 

Here’s what’s happening on Stowe Lane…

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The MAC went back.  Some people are MAC people some people are not, clearly I was not.  The Lenovo is on the way.

The Last of Summer found Toti Nonna back on the Cape, more to come when I can process my 40gb of pictures. Repeat after me, the Lenovo is coming.

I am now a Truthteller for womenforone.com  More exciting you can not get.

A new feature of Ordinary Legacy….can’t tell you yet but you’re going to love it and you’re going to want to be part of it.  Just ask Ida….

Future posts:

The Art of Dining Alone

What’s in a Name

Fall and the Big Green Garbage Bag

So there’s a lot happening on Stowe Lane if only I had the means to get it all out to you.  There will be pictures there will be stories there will be everything you’re used to and more….I might have mentioned the Lenovo is coming. Stay tuned…

 

MAC this….

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imageThey say a comfort zone is a nice place to live but nothing grows there…I have been in computer hell for the last three weeks.  My saving grace is fleeing the world of Windows and joining the Mac world, or so I thought.

My Macbook Pro arrived on Friday, I was “waiting-for-my-secret-decoder-ring” excited.  Open it up and it is beautiful and light and the screen has just the most amazing resolution that it takes your breath away. Let us begin, how hard could it be, I’ve got an iPhone, I’ve got a iPad mini, I’m Apple literate.  Not so fast…what the hell is this?

imageI shoot off a text to my Apple Guru and he says power cord…there is nowhere on this super slim machine to plug in anything that looks like the end of that cord.  Nothing.  Seems the adapter comes apart and that end slips into the adapter after you pull off the prongs for plugging in the adapter…stay with me here.  I had just had a fit about Apple being so damn high and mighty making the adapter too big for the power strip and lo and behold it turns out they are genius…pun intended. Did I mention I’m a PC girl for the last 35 years?

Ok now I’m ready. Let’s start with email…not so fast, what do you mean you can’t connect to the server?  My iPhone is connecting to the server, my iPad is connecting to the server…In the interest of saving my sanity and this brand new shiny Mac, I pour a glass of red, had dinner with my sister and went to bed.

Day two brings me to the Apple store where all the kids know everything there is and I’m set up with Russell who is patient and fabulous and hooks me up, email in place, here are a few tricks to keep you out of trouble and I’m on my way.  I get home and not so fast, why are these emails from three years ago?  In the interest of saving my sanity and this brand new shiny Mac, I pour a glass of red and park my ass outside the enchanted forest on the deck.

Today I decide to act like a child/use my beginner’s mind and just be with the Mac, we will have an understanding by the end of the day.  And so I begin, one step at a time, deleting email and adding them back, downloading the programs that are dear to me, essential to my work and future, dropbox, photoshop, up to google to learn how to set up my Mac so that my images open directly into Photoshop…oh I’m gettin this.  By the end of the day when my Apple Guru checks back in I can say with confidence that it’s going to take me a minute or two but I’ll be fine.

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I spent a minute or two, a bottle of wine and several cups of coffee over the last three days beating myself up for not being like those little kids that can open the box and be up and running.  Did I mention I’ve been a Windows girl for the last thirty five years?  I come with context and experience and expertise from a whole another operating system, those darling kids do NOT.  The irony is not lost on me that my personal operating system may have been a bit…something, and it too is being tweaked over and over again.  But true to my core I will practice slinky syndrome over the next several weeks, poking in and backing out, asking a million questions, living on google until I really see how this baby works. Hopefully it will NOT turn out like the many slinkys I tried to figure out.  To the future….stay tuned, stick close Guru.

 

 

Remember Me?

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ellie and doris

That was the subject line of a recent email I sent to two someones I missed very much.  I missed them because I had lost touch over a period of several years but I never lost them in my heart.  This was not a friend breakup, this was neglect.

From the email:  I’m reminded every year on Doris’ birthday that I haven’t spoken or seen you two in a very long time.  And because of that I usually become paralyzed at what I might find, or not find, if I dial the phone.  I am entirely at fault for letting life get in the way even though life has been very very good.  Busy shouldn’t ever be an excuse, I’m a late learner on that one but I’m coming around.

Continued from the email:  Just wanted to let you know that I think of you both very often and miss you.  Let me know all is well, or all is not, and I’ll be back in touch.  Know that you’re on my mind more than you think.

And so you sit with your finger hovering over the send button.  Doris is in her late 80’s, I have no idea how old Ellie is but we are contemporaries. The what ifs come and the shouldas come and the wouldas come but you won’t ever know unless you hit send.  And so I hit send.  And I hope that these two women will find it in their hearts to take me in again.  They took me in once before over a decade ago when life was difficult and there was school and an internship and and and. We hit it off famously and worked side by side for several years as volunteer counselors, Ellie was the boss we used to joke. They understood difficult lives either through their own or the clients they assisted which made for easy conversation and comfortable silences when they occurred.  I learned from them, I enjoyed them, I cherished them.  I was scared to death waiting, hoping for a reply, hoping for a positive response.

Well well well. LoConti is alive! came the response the next day.  Yes I deserved that but that was the only tiny little swipe and I know I deserved more.  I bit more advanced insight to our Doris’ life and plans were made for lunch in a few days.

So there we were at our favorite diner, ordering off the old familiar menu…we knew Doris would have the omelet with french fries and all seemed right with the world.  Catching up on what’s happened in their lives over the last several years tore at my heart, because I wasn’t around and because it was difficult for them and I should have been.  Not that I could have done much more than make meals for the freezer or just make them laugh with one of my zillion stories but I could have done just that.

These are gracious women who put others ahead of themselves.  These are women of substance and grace that I’ve looked up to and who have looked up to me on occasion.  I’m letting go of the coulda shoulda wouldas and starting from where we are which was a very comfortable and amusing place by the end of our lunch.

Ellie said it was brave of me to take the chance sending the email, maybe it was but I can’t help thinking it was really an easy way out because either way I’d know.  If you find yourself in this situation I truly hope you will do the same.  If there are people who you’ve lost touch with that you care about please take the chance, the not knowing is not conducive to a wonderful life.  You may be disappointed but you will know. Or, like me, you will know like you know that part of your life is intact and part of your legacy is being shared by two wonderful and easily forgiving women.  Hit send…