Category Archives: Pause Points

Ordinary legacy moments in time.

Universal Conspiracy

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That moment when the way things unfold equals the universe conspiring in your favor…can stop you in your tracks.

Yesterday Toti Nonna and I got soaked, nearly drowned !!!!! it rained so hard.  Down to our understuff, down to the phone in my pocket.  The jacket wasn’t really meant for rain or its repelability is completely gone. My favorite shoes are still wet a day later.

So I need a new phone and go online and order through our portal.

An iPhone 7.

Denied, we can’t order the 7 we can only order the 6S so I can’t approve this for you.

How blessed am I with a boss that says WE can’t instead of YOU can’t.  And then hurries me along and checks in to insure he can approve in time for me to receive the next day (so far the receive part hasn’t happened).  I barely know him, I barely see or speak with him but I am incredibly grateful for the way he makes his way in the world.

Getting dressed for a business meeting yesterday was a drag but I’m one of the few people who really enjoy my meetings.  My problem was the movement yesterday. It still hurts like hell from Sunday and years of improper movement and the deterioration of neglect. Why did I neglect so many things? Yes I know why but my reclamation has begun. With some bumps and frustrations, a bit of pity and foot stamping but it has begun…

The day before yesterday was not a day to be around me, my aches and pains were thick and my patience was thin.  I had no use for a grown ass woman who can’t ever remember her key.  I really had no use for anything but at the end of the day, the very end of the day all the good started to outweigh the bad. In small ways, like fresh figs and ricotta or a comfortable position on the other end of the couch, or an exceptional visit with Gramma and Toti that brought good news of her coming home. And, yes, even the experts especially the ones I’ve been cursing and second guessing lately.

When you’re an expert, at what point is what you think you know so well no longer the truth.  When someone says something changed yet you continue on.  Do you continue with that expert?  My hesitation, my leeriness aside, I called for an appointment.

When brutal honesty mixed with pain and kindness are put to use, common ground and understanding, even a good laugh, start to emerge.  There is no one or the other cure or care for your condition he says, but there is interim and complimentary care. There is more and better. There are ideas and suggestions and adjustments (literally).  Never once eluding to the fact that this is really all about old age…albeit premature old age…just sayin.

At the end of the day relief comes in a myriad of ways.  A clear mind, a better understanding, common ground, friends whose energy takes over when yours is low and restful sleep. And while my favorite dog walking/gardening shoes may never dry out I am blessed with a universe that is truly conspiring in my favor.  I hold out hope for it all, including the shoes.

Peaches

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Every year around this time, the smell of the early summer peaches stops me in my tracks.  I can’t resist them.  I can’t buy a bushel but a dozen should do.  They purposely put them in a paper bag because they need a few days and the wait can be agony. Of course once they’re home the smell just keeps getting stronger.

Finally! I have to eat one immediately and they never disappoint.  Peaches hold a certain food nostalgia for me, they are a direct link to my father and his way of making them into something special.

You can read all about that in a post I did several years ago when I first began writing about all those ordinary legacy moments; FATHER’S DAUGHTER MOMENTS: PEACHES

Cherish the ordinary moments, they are truly the stuff of legacy.

Gardening Rituals

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You don’t have to be a gardener to benefit from these rituals, they will fit almost anywhere.  In fact, they already reside in kitchens, business and just plain daily living. They are born from common sense, you remember that right?

Start Early

If you’re going to get anywhere in the garden, or any of the above alternatives, you’ve got to start early.  Plant at the optimum time.  Seeds and seedlings (or ideas for that matter) have an optimum time to go in the ground not just to survive but to flourish.  It makes no sense to defy your cleared frost date or you’ll find yourself starting again.  It makes no sense to plant fall crops at the beginning of spring.  You’ll want a progression that builds on the changes of the growing season (or the market…) to take full advantage of the varied conditions.

You’ll also want to start early in the day.  Before the sun beats on your back and exhausts you and burns you (or burns you out).  Pace yourself to the environment you’re working in, be aware of the changes and use them to your advantage.  For example, get your plants in before the rain so they get a good soaking and weed after the rain when the soil will yield to your hoe.

Gardening Mise En Place

There is no difference between kitchen mise en place and gardening mise en place.  Everything must be in its place in order to conserve your energy, insure good flow, prevent injury, and make this gardening work a pleasure.  Another part of mise en place is to clean as you go.  At the end of your morning in the garden when you’re done you’re done, no back and forth and diminishing the joy you’ve just experienced with gathering and cleaning the multitude of tools you’ve used.  More than anything this insures nothing will be left behind in the garden. There is nothing worse than wondering where the hell that damn trowel went…

Protect Against Intruders

In a community garden there are a different set of intruders.  There are the rabbits.  There are the deer.  There are the birds.  There are the residents…and yes there are the other gardeners.  It’s true there are times we just can’t help ourselves.  Just one seed pod.  Just one cutting. Just one clump of this overgrown name the perennial.  We don’t mean to steal, in fact I don’t think any gardener considers this stealing but just the same we sometimes forget to ask first.

Fencing becomes one of the most popular ways to protect against intruders and many a community garden becomes strewn with ingenious and elaborate fencing. Most gardeners prefer not to use chemicals to keep pests away, especially if they are growing edibles, so any number of home remedies can literally stink up the place.  This too might keep away the human poachers.

Rest and Pace Yourself

Gardening, especially at the beginning of the season, can be back breaking work.  I’ve learned from the elder gardeners to set small tasks for myself and assign them over the course of different days. I can see the changes in their gardens each week when I return.  It is incredibly hard to do but in the end it prevents me from becoming debilitated too early.  I do get there eventually (not debilitated)…and by that time the garden just needs occasional grooming and then of course harvesting.

Sing

This is the equivalent of whistling while you work.  Gardening is like many pastimes in that it is at once joyful and frustrating, you know like golf. But occupying all the areas of the brain can reduce the frustration part of whatever pastime you call your own while increasing the joy centers. Science says so and despite the recent maligning of scientific findings, I still believe in it wholeheartedly.

This woman was clapping her feet together to release the dirt from within the treads of her shoes just moments before I took this picture.  All the while singing in her native language delighted that she had completed her morning in the garden.

Our lives are full of rituals, they are a combination of habit and proven technique.  Without them we just go face first into one thing or another without a compass or guidebook.  They are ordinary and brilliant and give us comfort and guidance especially if they are handed down by those who have become experts.

Enjoy your week.

 

Happy Mother’s Day From A Father’s Daughter – 2017

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Happy Mother’s Day Rere

I wondered if this had changed in the four years since I first wrote it.  No, not really we are still, my mother and I, something…best described as comfortably, and now mutually, respectful.

She is now soon to be 87 years old and my father has been gone 12 years…12 years still seems like the day before yesterday and I remain very much my father’s daughter. My nest egg has grown and her’s remains wonderful as some frugal habits are hard to relinquish.

To her credit, and her benefit,  the one time she didn’t start from no, didn’t say no, resulted in the love affair of the decade.  She has developed a true and deep love of an old dog.  She and Toti Nonna continue to save each other each week since Lina died.  They are the reason each looks forward to the weekend.

I’ve had a new string of wonderful young people cycle through my life and on to live their fullest lives and I fully anticipate this will happen again and again.  There is something to be said for being once removed from family where one can stamp their feet and empty their angst while filling their stomachs.  I’d like to say I’ve perfected that particular method of being available.

Previously published in 2013:

 

She loves her Chinese food, me not so much.  She has a million quips and quotes that somehow grew us up and we remember to this day.  She is eighty three and like most people her age she concentrates on herself, some amazing survival instinct of the aged. She truly made a silk purse from a sow’s ear, she scrimped and saved and has a wonderful nest egg, me not so much but she is generous.

In the eight years since my Father passed we have become…something.  Something more than we were and less than we will ever be.  I have developed a certain respect for her charm, her ability to bring people to her and to make them feel…something.  Loved, important, heard, special.  She has a long line of people who will always remember how she made them feel.  Including me.

But she and I couldn’t be more different in many ways.  I am hopeful that I’ve been able to cultivate that ability of hers to bring people to me.  Maya Angelou said today that her second greatest blessing has been her ability to turn people into children of hers.  I’ve had a string of people that I believe turned into children of mine but have now moved on into wonderful and satisfying lives through new jobs, new relationships or reestablished relationships with their own mothers, and new…something.

You never really know the effect you’ve had on people, there are no Mother’s Day calls when people have taken your love and lessons and moved on to send those lessons into their own worlds.  You can be grateful for the love and lessons you’ve received from a Mother you’re only now getting to know, love and respect.   I am grateful for both the sending and the receiving.

 

Happy Mother’s Day to all.

What You Don’t See

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When someone is kind enough to stop you before you head out to shoot.

They mention the skies and how they might affect your images.

They mention there might be a need to make adjustments.

And I hear them.

And I thank them.

And off I go.

Somehow I get caught up in the enormity of Storm King, which really can’t be described, and I begin thinking about scale.  And composition. And conveying interest. Then somehow every time I view the play back I’m pleased.  I looked at what I captured but I never really looked at what was missing.

Even after I was “cautioned” in the gentlest way.

By someone who knows.

The sky was blown out of nearly every image and I never even noticed.  Not until I sat with my images and prepared to edit. Which got me thinking, was this the only place I was missing what I couldn’t see? How often have I been concerned with the scale, or composition or interest of situations or things but not the light?

Hindsight and the benefit of editing don’t always make themselves available. My post-production mentality might not always work to repair what reveals itself in hindsight.  However, there are times when what you don’t see initially provides a happy surprise.  Some of it will require much editing and afterthought, while some of what you don’t see simply turns out to be a blessing.

Learning to look beyond the scale, composition and interest for the light may be the bigger blessing. This was indeed about light, too much light and not paying attention to it.   They say that living in the light equals enlightenment.

What does not seeing it at all mean? Only that there is more awareness required and a balance of the seen and unseen. After all the light is always changing why shouldn’t I.

To see more of this photo walk click here!