On this anniversary I thought that the best way to honor you and celebrate your life would be to cook!  So today I put on a pot of sauce and relived all the silly things we’ve done in the kitchen.  I’ll always remember us being jammed into the little kitchen on Oak Tree Road making sauce, and ravioli and mozzarella. God, that was a blast. I will always have fond memories of you in the kitchen cooking some damn thing for dinner…and lunch the next day… and some for the freezer…

We still miss you every day and not a day goes by without mentioning your name or telling one of the many funny stories.  Just this morning we had a real belly laugh about the time Terri woke up in the middle of the night and couldn’t move her head.  I know it sounds scary but the truth of the matter is that you were playing basketball in your sleep and palming her head as the ball.   God there are a million of these we will replay for the rest of our lives.

One of your football kids took the scholarship this May.  You knew him; he met you at some game or another and thought you were pretty cool (of course he did).  Kenneth Furlong will forever remember you and the boost he got from your Foundation. Bravo!

I know you see that Terri is more amazing as the days go by.  She’s on the board of the condo association, and running for another term.  She’s making a difference following in your footsteps but with her own quiet consideration for people.  She’s determined to make a community where one once was when you were the de-facto mayor.

She still misses you very much but is learning that sorrow can become a celebration of life with the help of her posse; those women continue to astound me with their love of her. Isabel and Ethan are growing up to be quite protective of Miss Terri, making sure to check for her car before they go to sleep each night.  You want to make sure a person comes home to love, give the job to two of the most wonderful upstairs children in the world.

Well Honey the sauce was wonderful, enjoyed by the neighborhood, safely stashed in the freezer and certainly would have met with your approval. Listen for the toast at Thanksgiving! Salute; take care of Thomas, Love San

Today was that day in October that I had to turn the heat on. Change the filter in the furnace. Take the screen out of the storm door and put in the glass. Wash the window. Take in the plants from the deck for fear of frost.  Put on a turtleneck for the morning walk and leave my sneakers and socks on all day long.  Wear a sweater. Switch out the sandal slippers for the pile-lined moccasins. Have a glass of red instead of white.  Turn the oven on to make dinner.  Put a throw across the bottom of the bed.

I have a mostly love, sometimes hate, relationship with this time of year. Autumn brings thoughts of Honey and how much we miss him.  It brings an end to the farmers market’s colorful fruits and vegetables to make way for the sturdier harvest.  It brings soups and stews and baking.  It brings nights by the fire and thicker coats on the dogs.  It brings dark mornings and more layers for walking.  It ushers in the holidays and the nostalgia of days past.

It is essential to me to nest into my home.  I love everything about my home and this time of year forces me to look around at each item and its story and oh there are so many stories.  The other life stories are tucked away in notebooks and photo albums and cedar chests.  The now life stories surround me every day and remind me of the wonderful life that is now mine.

Welcome to autumn; my roasted tomato tart is ready to come out of the oven.

It’s been an amazing day on Stowe Lane.  That alone makes me smile.  After yesterday’s Defining Moments post I am delighted to share some of the tiny little defining moments that made me smile today.  My top ten MMS of today:

MMS to see the first text of the day, sent the previous night, included a quote that made them think of me, love that.  Watch for the quote in Sunday’s post.

Peanut butter and jelly for breakfast MMS

MMS every day to use my new coffee pot, makes hot delicious crema topped espresso in a minute.  Note to the Aunt M’s, it’s no longer a process to make latte, you’ll be fine when you have to make my coffee every morning when I get old.  No sippy cup filled with wine until lunchtime.  God love you both for becoming my Stowe Lane family.  That definitely MMS EVERYDAY

Dancing MMS.  Even after almost three weeks. Knowing that the cool down song was a gift meant for me. “When there’s so many beautiful reasons I have to be happy.”…Natasha Bedingfield

Watching someone recognize their own power and use their energy for themselves, finally, after some tiny little thing you did made a difference. I know like I know that MMS

MMS learning that a contractor referral you made turned out very well.  So well it might result in a date for her best friend.  God love my Jewish friends they all have the matchmaker gene.  And even more they mostly have UN-handy husbands so my contractor will do very well indeed.

MMS to have the most beautiful day to drive with the top down in October.

Raising a significant amount of money for my favorite charity fills my heart with joy especially after reading all of the comments and personal notes that accompanied many of the donations.  Just ask and you shall receive. MMS to know I have the most amazing people.

MMS to discover the clicking noise I make that sends the dogs into play.

Last but certainly not least, Toto and Lina MMS Terri MMS ReeRee MMS

There is something in everyday that makes me smile.  What makes you smile?

I passed an accident scene yesterday on my way home that really got to me.  I don’t normally slow down for accident scenes, I don’t consider myself a rubbernecker (mostly because it annoys the hell out of me) but this scene was odd.  It was a small car, looked very new, with the entire front end smashed in.  The driver seemed to be trying to back up but this car wasn’t going anywhere.  There was no other damaged car to be seen. There was no tree or wall and nothing had fallen from the sky.  There was, however, someone in a Jeep protecting the car from being hit again as it was in a precarious spot.

But the driver was screaming, screaming from her soul.  It was that type of gut wrenching scream that didn’t denote injury; but rather a desperate plea to something bigger than all of us.  What you might expect from someone who’d had horrific news or lost a child.  It was animal like and stayed with me all night.  You knew by the sound that the woman’s life was changed in that moment.

I witnessed something like that a few years ago.  Same kind of you-know-that-person’s-life-just-changed moment.  I was at a light on my way to work and heard that God awful sound of metal buckling.  There is nothing like that sound and for a moment I thought it was me the sound was so close.  The car next to me had been hit from behind.  It was an older model Honda hit by a much bigger Mercedes.  The woman inside the Honda just deflated before my eyes.  We made eye contact for the briefest moment and I could see that she was physically ok but she knew her life had just changed in that moment.

I could pretend to know the story behind each of these incidents, elaborate on their circumstances.  But honestly how could I, or anyone for that matter, ever know for sure what each of these women was up against.  Doesn’t mean I could get either of them out of my head.  I wonder about things like this all the time.  I wonder what will happen to people and how they will cope with their defining moments.

It can always go either way.  You can look at these kinds of things as great misfortune or you can look for the silver lining.  Ok not at that very moment but many times the most wonderful things come out of what seems like the darkest of situations.  My friend Sandra is a perfect example of a happy ending from a misadventure.

Either way my prayer for these women and anyone else I see up against a defining moment:

Dear God please give this person whatever they need.  Don’t listen to what they want because you know (like you know) much better than them.  Please give it to them quickly and help them see the lesson in this moment so that they can define their lives with love not hate and resentment. Amen.

There I prayed for them again.  I feel much better now.