In our ever Orprah world the phrase “doubt means don’t” has become synonymous with her ubiquitous words to live by. Truth be told it was Benjamin Franklin who originally said, “if in doubt, don’t”. I’ve been known to throw some version of that out myself but I notice it’s almost always in hind sight.
I once took a job that started on December 7th which, growing up, was always that “day that will live in infamy”. My parents were of that generation that took to heart the bold headlines and ominous going to war so there was a certain stigma to that date our whole lives. It’s one of those things that lurk in the back of your mind so I thought hummmm. Turns out that job lasted three months and doubt might have been right but not for the superstition attached to the day.
I took another job, a promotion actually, into a job that required relationship building, selling and major account responsibility. Doubt was screaming in my ear because I didn’t believe my company could back up what I was telling the customers. I took the job anyway and I was right, it couldn’t back it up. It was the classic too big too fast, lack of resources and process blah blah blah and my integrity was compromised. Note to self; doubt should have meant don’t in this case.
I once apologized for something I shouldn’t have, an opinion. I had doubt about doing it and came close to walking away without making the gesture for the sake of whatever it was at the time. The consequences seemed insurmountable to me and I blinked. It’s one of my regrets and doubt definitely meant don’t in that situation.
But if I listened to doubt every time it raised its ugly head I’d never get out of bed. Define doubt. From my beloved Wikipedia:
Doubt, a status between belief and disbelief, involves uncertainty or distrust or lack of sureness of an alleged fact, an action, a motive, or a decision. Doubt brings into question some notion of a perceived “reality”, and may involve delaying or rejecting relevant action out of concerns for mistakes or faults or appropriateness. Some definitions of doubt emphasize the state in which the mind remains suspended between two contradictory propositions and unable to assent to either of them.
So what to do with doubt? For my bestie, Sandra, doubt doesn’t mean don’t it means check your gut. I agree it’s that thing we’re all born with. That thing that raises the hair on the back of your neck, that thing that stops you in your tracks and forces you to think. However, it also requires recognition. You must be aware of doubt and start weighing the options but not to the point of inertia.
Doubt comes with a fine line. Too much overthinking, too much trust in the doubt/don’t belief and you’re stuck. Too little and you’re reckless and stuck with a possible predicament. It’s a balancing act of letting go of everything that’s affected you in the past and trusting that you can make an informed decision and garnering all of your experience toward deciding beyond the shadow of a doubt. Gotta love a good oxymoron, the epitome of “I know like I know like and I don’t know what I don’t know.
So, now what? In order to live your life out loud, to get out of bed each day doubt should be a whisper not a roar. My sister will tell you that I have a habit of going face first into most things, usually leading with my mouth, and I’m working on that because it hasn’t always been to my advantage. I’m more about being to my own advantage lately and that’s where doubt can assist, not hinder. I still doubt more than I trust but with each whisper I acknowledge trust will come.
To use doubt to your advantage be willing to really look at the situation. Stay away from the what-ifs they tend to cross over into the unrealistic. Going there will only leave you in the world of coulda shoulda woulda. Take a chance. Be clenched. Hone your intuition. Mostly, relinquish all doubt in yourself. You know like you know where you’ve been, what you’ve learned and who you are. William Shakespeare said, “Modest doubt is called the beacon of the wise.” Become wise.