Give a little bit
Give a little bit of your love to me
Give a little bit
I’ll give a little bit of my life for you
Now’s the time that we need to share
So find yourself, we’re on our way back home…Roger Hodgson – Supertramp

It seems to me that as soon as we’re born we’re already on our way back home.  I was reminded of that recently when I completed a questionnaire for a course I was taking.  One of the questions was something like tell me something that hasn’t ever appeared on your bio.  I had come across pictures of my maternal grandmother and me when I was two years old. They are lovely, the story goes that she wasn’t supposed to live long enough to see me born. Somehow she did and I’ve been told I was the reason she lived an additional two years.  The love shows in these pictures and in seeing them now, at this age, I got a sense of having been destined in some way.

So what do you do with that?  I believe I tried very hard to become generous; in different and interesting ways.  Iyanla Vanzant said, “When you stand and share your story in an empowering way your story will heal you and your story will heal somebody else.  My story has become about generosity, as Evi would say, I’m a giver…she means it in a completely different and funny way I’m sure.  I’ve had to learn the difference between being self-sacrificing, not a good thing, and being selfless.  I did the sacrificing thing and that didn’t work for anyone.  Self-sacrificing tends to lead to resentment because there is an expectation attached.  True generosity is giving with no expectation of anything in return.

I am an avid fund raiser for a local animal organization that provides food for pets through the local, and ever expanding, food pantries.  The thought of not being able to feed my girls just crushed me. There was a time, many years ago, that I had to cut way back but never did I ever not have food for my dogs.  I would have eaten mac and cheese daily…oh wait.  I don’t strong arm, I just send out a series of three emails and people respond.  They respond to the same thing I did, that there but for the grace of God go I, the what an innovative idea and the dedication of an all-volunteer group making a huge difference thing  They respond generously, I hope because over the years I’ve been generous in kind, through my work and through my actions.  I’m big on the way I live my life being enough no thanks required.

I was reminded recently (seems I’m always being reminded of something recently) by a friend I hadn’t spoken to in quite some time of a little thing I did for him when he was going through cancer treatment.  I would send a note by mail, I’m a huge believer in getting something other than bills and bullshit in the mail, with some encouraging quote or thought or just hello.  I would send one every week or every other week, I honestly don’t remember now, hoping they would bring a bit of something other than cancer to him.  I remember stopping them after his scans came back stellar.  I was so glad to hear how much they meant to him.

Sending things in the mail is one of those different and interesting ways I give.  Another way is giving a handkerchief to someone who has lost someone.  It’s one of those things that no one ever thinks of, probably because no one would even know where to find a handkerchief these days. I’ve got a collection of them from decades ago and I’ve stashed them with lavender in a box for just such occasions.  For those who are being as brave as they can be in the face of the rituals they must face when someone dies, why not give them something that they can bury their face in when the tears inevitably come.  Trying to maintain some sense of dignity while going through a box of tissues just doesn’t seem fair and after all is said and done, the keepsake can remind them of the respect they paid their loved one and the poise they maintained.

Photos have become another way of giving for me.  I’m trying very hard to capture life as I see it with the people I’m on my journey with.  I love my people and I hope they know it.  To cement our times together I snap away, sometimes to the momentary annoyance of my subjects, but ultimately to their delight when presented with the evidence of time well spent.  I hope that the portraits I took of my friends now departed dog will give her comfort each time she views them.  I know that the books I’ve been putting together at the end of each year are bringing my family just the perfect gift each Christmas.  I know I’m getting better at it and thanked God I didn’t screw up the most fabulous wedding pictures.

I’ve given away my pearls, my wedding dress, my money, my time, my ear, my heart but the number one give away that brings me pleasure is giving away food.  I don’t know that this could be called truly generous as I do do do want something in return.  I get no greater pleasure than cooking with and for people and having them gather around my table for eating, drinking, laughing and sharing.  Feeding people is my number one favorite thing to do, having people in my home, being surrounded by laughter, oh that just sends me.

You’ve heard me say over and over I believe in food for thought and moments in time; add to that kind gestures and that should just about cover it.  I don’t really ask for much but on a rainy, miserable day like today it would have been nice to have someone bring me a coffee and the NY Times to enjoy in bed.  Yet another post in the making…

Generosity is giving more than you can, and pride is taking less the you need…Kahlil Gibran