Universal Conspiracy

That moment when the way things unfold equals the universe conspiring in your favor…can stop you in your tracks.

Yesterday Toti Nonna and I got soaked, nearly drowned !!!!! it rained so hard.  Down to our understuff, down to the phone in my pocket.  The jacket wasn’t really meant for rain or its repelability is completely gone. My favorite shoes are still wet a day later.

So I need a new phone and go online and order through our portal.

An iPhone 7.

Denied, we can’t order the 7 we can only order the 6S so I can’t approve this for you.

How blessed am I with a boss that says WE can’t instead of YOU can’t.  And then hurries me along and checks in to insure he can approve in time for me to receive the next day (so far the receive part hasn’t happened).  I barely know him, I barely see or speak with him but I am incredibly grateful for the way he makes his way in the world.

Getting dressed for a business meeting yesterday was a drag but I’m one of the few people who really enjoy my meetings.  My problem was the movement yesterday. It still hurts like hell from Sunday and years of improper movement and the deterioration of neglect. Why did I neglect so many things? Yes I know why but my reclamation has begun. With some bumps and frustrations, a bit of pity and foot stamping but it has begun…

The day before yesterday was not a day to be around me, my aches and pains were thick and my patience was thin.  I had no use for a grown ass woman who can’t ever remember her key.  I really had no use for anything but at the end of the day, the very end of the day all the good started to outweigh the bad. In small ways, like fresh figs and ricotta or a comfortable position on the other end of the couch, or an exceptional visit with Gramma and Toti that brought good news of her coming home. And, yes, even the experts especially the ones I’ve been cursing and second guessing lately.

When you’re an expert, at what point is what you think you know so well no longer the truth.  When someone says something changed yet you continue on.  Do you continue with that expert?  My hesitation, my leeriness aside, I called for an appointment.

When brutal honesty mixed with pain and kindness are put to use, common ground and understanding, even a good laugh, start to emerge.  There is no one or the other cure or care for your condition he says, but there is interim and complimentary care. There is more and better. There are ideas and suggestions and adjustments (literally).  Never once eluding to the fact that this is really all about old age…albeit premature old age…just sayin.

At the end of the day relief comes in a myriad of ways.  A clear mind, a better understanding, common ground, friends whose energy takes over when yours is low and restful sleep. And while my favorite dog walking/gardening shoes may never dry out I am blessed with a universe that is truly conspiring in my favor.  I hold out hope for it all, including the shoes.

Hope

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Hope is not a strategy they said.  Taken from the context of some very high level business meetings where someone was trying to get their customer, dealer, vendor, whoever to respond to an incentive, process, threat, whatever. Yeah hope is definitely not a strategy in business.  Hope is more a component.

Hope is truly a component of a life well lived.  For me it’s one of the four H’s; hope, humor, hustle and hide.  None of these components can really stand on their own, none of them is self-sustaining.  They need a little somthin somethin on the side to be effective.

As a literary device hope is a key concept in many classic and contemporary fictional works. It can be used as a plot device and is often a motivating force for change in dynamic characters.  But even here you can clearly see it is only a concept there is nothing concrete happening unless…somethin.

Doesn’t mean I don’t love the phrase.  I loved it the minute I heard it.  It’s one of those stop in your tracks phrases that remind you every time you use a word like hope to look a little further.

One of the symbols of hope is the Swallow in Aesop fables and numerous other historic literature.  It symbolizes hope, in part because it is among the first birds to appear at the end of winter and the start of spring

Spring actually begins for me on April 1st.  I’m not good in March, it holds too much blah blah for me.  Too much what if and too much sorrow for me to welcome Spring on its actual arrival date.  So on April 1st I hoped somethin would bring some welcome relief from this very hard winter.

Through dinner with friends, good news from friends and even better weather than expected my hope was fulfilling itself nicely.   The emergence of my garden always fulfills my hope for welcome relief.  There is always that one day that the sun and my energy converge and begin the process of cleaning out the back garden, hanging the rug over the railing and giving it a good beating, uncovering the tiny little poke-throughs that just can’t help coming up before the hard frost fear is over.

This weekend brought me sunshine and wind to blow the leaves all the way to the edge of the enchanted forest.  It brought rug beating with no choking or sneezing thanks again to the wind. It brought out mineral oil for the wood furniture and cushions, if only temporarily.

It brought the first pansies to the garden centers and dirt under my fingernails.  It brought the end of the indoor farmers market and the anticipation of the outdoor market with its strawberries and asparagus and peas.

So while hope is not a strategy, on this weekend, it was a call to move, walk, beat, scrub, to welcome Spring and continue to hope for more.

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