Tag Archives: karen walrond

Lime and Lime Again

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In a full heart there is room for everything, in an empty heart there is room for nothing. Antonio Porchia

I had the honor of joining several of my oldest and dearest friends in Houston this weekend. We met for the very first time. You’ve heard me say before what a lovely and rare gift that is; meeting an old friend for the very first time. How is it that twenty five women can find themselves together sharing, learning, laughing, exploring, and just plain, well, liming… Liming is an expression that has its origin in Trinidad & Tobago. It has relaxing at its center but goes further to include rejuvenating, enlightening, connecting and gathering around food and conversation. We attended the LimeLight Sessions this weekend and I did indeed lime. These sessions are the brain child and, come to find out, dream come true of Karen Walrond. Human being extraordinaire, story teller, speaker and photographer, creator and curator of the website Chookooloonks.com.

My participation in these sessions came at a turning point. I’ve been following Karen for several years and love the way she makes her way in the world, the way there is a community around her, the way she values her own backyard and the world’s backyard. Yes, I do too. So how does she do it, what is she really like, can I learn from her. The answer is yes. And yes. And yes. Her generosity is unrestrained while taking good care of herself, not an easy thing to do. One of the more frustrating things women struggle with.

Timing is indeed everything; having just reached that turning point in Ordinary Legacy, having just brainstormed a truly frightening and exhilarating idea for where it should go, having just actually put that idea on paper and presented it as a product the invitation to lime in Houston reaches my inbox…In Houston. I haven’t been on a plane in almost a decade. So what? I sign up, I make travel arrangements including flights and hotels and shuttles and lions and tigers and bears and I’m a minute from a meltdown and excitement overrides my fear. There are gifts and then there are gifts, excitement is truly a gift.

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I have been carrying around “the book” as himself used to call it, since my father died in 2005. It has stuff, ideas, pictures, snippets and quotes. I’ve not been as consistent with it in a journaling sense but it’s been an invaluable tool. Practically the minute I got to Houston it put into action. The room I was in had a big ledge of a window sill, the kind I had in my first apartment in Cliffside Park and I found myself using it as a desk with my coffee close by and a view of the city. Priceless.

We worked we played we shared. I shared Ordinary Legacy and where I wanted it to go. What is legacy they asked…oh I know like I know this one; legacy is born of living your life the way you want your story told. Extraordinary legacies come from an ordinary life well lived. Yes they said, let me repeat that…Yes, they said. I am blessed to have been able to let my ideas about where I want to go out and have wonderful people say, yes. To have my little love of legacy become part of these sessions fills my heart to overflowing. Tia Walker said; “Affirmations are our mental vitamins, providing the supplementary positive thoughts we need to balance the barrage of negative events and thoughts we experience daily.” Amen Sister.

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I learned so much over this weekend, about the women who attended and about myself. I told my story, which I don’t normally do. Thank you Esther, you’re a love and I can’t wait to see you in December for Andrea’s serenade to us.  I met and grew to love some of the most fascinating and nurturing people I’ve ever met. And they met me, the real me. I sincerely hope that the legacy I’ve left them is the one about the favorite Aunt and not the one about Macy’s window….I’ll save that for another time.

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And then back on the plane. Goodbye Houston, I don’t know that I’ll see you again but I enjoyed your company. Hello New Jersey, my backyard where I know like I know I can make this happen. I thank you Karen for your timing, your wisdom and your ever faithful course of looking for the light.

 

 

Superpowers

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Usually a Superpower refers to a state that has a dominant position in international relations and is characterized by its unparalleled ability to exert influence or project power on a global scale. Thank you once again Wikipedia. But there is an emerging, at least in my little universe, group of women that are bantering the term about regularly. These women are a decade…eh hem or more…younger than I but I love the way they think.

Andrea Scher, Karen Walrond, Brene Brown, Elizabeth Gilbert: You have superpowers! they say.

Yes, I do. Apparently I’ve been developing and honing them for years. But I’ve never referred to them as such, it would never occur to me to refer to them as such because…who the hell knows why. Here’s how I see it:

Writing. In a straight forward, tell me what you want to say and I’ll help you say it way. Bring me your voice and your thoughts and I’ll translate for you. I can do that.

Listening. Tell me your story, tell me your pain, tell me your troubles, tell me your predicament, God forbid you tell me your joy. People talk to me, not just my people but a lot of people. Total strangers on a line somewhere who are uncomfortable will talk to me. Any one in any situation will gravitate to me and begin a conversation. Kids will talk to me even dogs will talk to me. It’s the face my best friend keeps telling me.

Exhaling. After hearing and translating and offering I have finally learned that my job is not to fix. My job, the reason I’m here, what I can do, is give. And then exhale. Do NOT make the offer, do NOT volunteer, do NOT deprive yet another individual of the satisfaction of bringing themselves into their own. Even if that means falling down, come to find out the getting up is the reward, the character builder, the friend of resourcefulness.   This superpower was hard earned and it’s still in its initial stages but oh it is going to be big big big.

Process. It’s that interesting balance of common sense, pragmatism and foresight that somehow eludes others. Here’s the secret, it’s not a superpower it’s the ability to look one minute, I mean just one minute, beyond what YOU are doing. If you can master that you will see how, wait for it, others are being effected. A smooth process is about flow, knowing where the flow is being crimped makes you a superhero. There you go, please, get started on this one yourself.

Today is Mother’s Day and usually I struggle through this holiday as a Father’s Daughter. My sister and I spend every Sunday morning with our Mother so to gain perspective in this struggle I came to the conclusion that every Sunday is Mother’s Day but today had cards, and hot bakery rolls and my best behavior. The live and let live, let it go already superpower is still a work in progress. I’m hoping once you recognize a superpower it’s much easier to develop.

I know like I know that these women are on to something when they profess that we all have superpowers. But it’s not about bending steel with your bear hands or xray vision.  As Superheroes themselves, they possess that most invaluable superpower of them all; generosity.