I Know Like I Know 2013

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If I had to choose one word to describe 2013 it would be milestone.  Blink your eyes and five years of writing about all the ordinary things that will make up a life’s legacy have passed. Time is funny that way, as Gretchen Rubin would say, the days are long but the years are short. It’s a wonderful life here on Stowe Ln with all the things that bread, salt and wine can bring a home.  Joy and prosperity are truly reigning over this household and it is quickly becoming that place where more and more of life’s little celebrations are being held so we try never to run out of wine.

The Jersey Girls are happy and healthy and we continue to do our work and thank God each day for the generosity of those who got us here.  Life would not have been this wonderful if it weren’t for Shawn Stewart and his kindness and pragmatism. I can still remember asking him; on a scale of 1 – 10 just how bad are the girls, how aggressive.  His answer with a smile; a 1 and 1/2.  Fine.

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As many times as I say I know like I know, this has been the year that I’ve tried to come from that place of “I don’t know what I don’t know”.  I’ve shifted my perspective a bit, learned how to be “clenched” and tried some new things.  Photo treasure hunts and seminars with cool people like Seth Castile to force my camera back into my hands and consequently my heart.  Yes I’ve become a nuisance but the end result is a style, a viewpoint, a continuing illustration of the ordinary.  Technical? No. Cool? Sometimes.  I’ve begun to capture moments in time as I see them and it’s not like you don’t know how I feel about moments in time.

I’ve had the courage to stop coloring my hair.  I’ve gone grey and the end result is so much better than I could have imagined.  I have the glintys as I call them.  Not quite grey, headed toward salt and pepper and worry free.  Hours spent at the salon are a thing of the past and the money saved is a huge bonus.  We have abundance here in so many ways.  Once you shift your perspective you are no longer looking for abundance in one place, it comes from everywhere and from everyone.

I’ve met some wonderful new old friends this year.  We share a common point of view and a love of all things ordinary and special.  What a joy to have them in my life.  Sadly some people I thought were friends have gone. Either they or I had gotten what was the best of the relationship and moved on.  A fact of life I’m afraid, I’ve learned that people will come and go.  The important people stay for a very long time and I continue to be grateful for each one of them even if I don’t see them as often as I’d like.

My family and extended family are flourishing. We had many a celebration this year together for little things and big things.  I am still reeling from the wedding of my dear Muriel and Martina.  I had the honor of capturing their day in photos and selfishly that meant I could be with them through it all.  God knows they’ve been with me through it all.

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Luckily Muriel was with me to assist our neighbor into rehab through an intervention.  Five years later it never occurred to me that I might have to put that hat on again.  I’ve been known to say I resent what I know about addiction, but the fact is it might have helped save a life.  It does all come back to you, the script, the facilities, the beseeching from the intended.  Not easy but I was better at it this time, I was removed from the situation and I let it go after it was over.  For the most part anyway, the jury is still out on the successfulness of it.  Like Bob Seger says, “wish I didn’t know now, what I didn’t know then.”  It was a hard life.

And so it is that making life easier has become a mission. You know, like buying a new sewing machine.  It’s cool, it’s light and it does just what I need it to do, I’m not making clothing any more I’m just nipping and tucking.  I must say the one feature that I was so smug about, the needle threader broke.  I’m not surprised, the reason for it was all wrong.  It was just to spite my Aunt Millie who laughed at me a hundred years ago when she handed me a needle to thread for her and I just poked it right through with an eye roll. “I was like you she said”, sent me some karma, and now I’m like her looking for the magnifying glass.

All in all there has been little to bitch about, there was the Aunt Rant and the poopy bag incident, the Match.com fiasco, the cast iron bra epiphany and the crazy colleague who surely would have been the death of me if he hadn’t been reassigned recently.  Thank you karma, I certainly will learn to let you take care of things from now on.

I’ve learned that I never really was a “Jersey Girl” even though I was born here, that’s my sister’s department.  I’ve learned that I no longer have anything to prove, my only inclination at this point is to add value.  I’ve learned that I’m cool, no kidding, it’s true and that what I’m doing with Ordinary Legacy has meaning to some people.

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I’m going to summon up my courage again this year and develop an e-course based on Ordinary Legacy, that should be an adventure. Talk about being clenched. And finally I’m going to continue to add to my body of work.  Can you imagine?  I’ve got a body of work.  I know like I know that my wildest dreams aren’t really all that wild anymore and that makes this ordinary woman soar, finally.

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I hope you’ll take a look back at this year’s posts and see if they plant a seed for your own extraordinary legacy.

Happy New Year.

A Lifelong Learner the Hard Way

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The hard way isn’t necessarily a bad thing.  In my family it’s known as slinky syndrome.  I was that kid that had to see how the slinky worked. Have you ever tried to figure out how a slinky works, it’s not pretty you’ll need another one after you make a mess.  But the clue in the mess comes down to curiosity.  I believe it’s one of the most important characteristics of a lifelong learner.  We are curious, we want to know, we want books around us, we trade in preconceived notions, we start things, and we fail.  Himself used to tell me I never had enough input.  He used to chant it sometimes when I would be stuck in a book, more input more input.  I’m ok with that but books aren’t the only place I learn.

My senior year in high school I was working full time.  My classes ended at 11am and I was in work from noon until eight at night.  I was a teller at a bank, making good money and after graduation when some were going off to college I was working.  It was a different time, a high school diploma meant something more then.

Unfortunately the bank and I parted ways and I found myself on unemployment.  Yet another learning experience but I used the time to go to secretarial school through the state.  Typing and steno opened up a whole new world for me, I know steno doesn’t exist anymore but it was a life saver.  Every secretarial position I took became a treasure trove of new ideas, new business experiences, I became a sponge.  The funny thing about a sponge is its capacity is limited it can’t continue to hold  it all.

I became practiced at the art of purging.  This is yet another characteristic of a lifelong learner. We can let go of stale information, we can embrace technology, we can create new paths, and we can defy convention if only in small ways.

I did eventually go to college inspired by a man I worked with.  His name is Rawleigh Tremain and he is that wonderful blend of intelligence, good humor and generosity.  Never once with my lack of formal education did he ever make me feel less.  He inspired me to want to know what he knew.  Several years ago I was able to reconnect with him through the power of technology.  He remains on the periphery of my life and I remain ever grateful.  I have my bachelor’s and master’s degrees and couldn’t be more proud of having graduated with honors in my forties.

Lately, I’ve been chasing more creative learning.  I’ve always known that I am a right brained person but over the years I never found the right combination for a creative life.  I think I’m a rare bird that has too much linear thinking combined with lack of bohemian temperament.  My talents lie in process and development…duh… the ability to see things that others can’t, the solution being blatantly obvious is a creative talent.  Fine but I’ve always wanted to be an artist.

I’ve had my camera for a long time.  I’ve been good at it and I’ve gotten tired of it.  Finally I put it down when life got in the way.  So when life gets in the way I go to plan B.  The thing about plan B is if you choose it yourself rather than have it forced on you it’s encouraging, and stimulating, and inspirational.  Plan B put me on Stowe Lane, prompted me to begin my blog, I am in learning overload again.  I believe creativity has found me.  I believe this because my friend David let me know that he was glad I was taking on this project.  Project.  That is the catch phrase of all those wonderfully creative people out there making their personal form of art.  That affirmation will sustain me indefinitely and I am grateful that amazingly creative David bestowed it on me.

I’ve picked up my camera again with the help of Andrea Scher of Super Hero Life and Seth Casteel of Underwater Dogs fame.  I am learning from their unconventional approach to life and teaching.  My courses are online, shared with others through forums, and left to their generous critiques.  There are seminars shared with like-minded people.  There are morning coffee and learn sessions at local retailers.  All these new ways of learning and connecting are creatively assembled by a battalion of young and fresh and generous minds.

Being a lifelong learner means making education a priority.  Lifelong insinuates that it is ongoing, for that you’ve got to be motivated, self-motivated, and you’ve got to use what you learn or purge it.  Surround yourself with the tools of learning, books, people, technology, vision, and curiosity.  Make it habitual, become addicted to it and share what you’ve learned and the excitement it brings you.  With all the new research on brain functioning and longevity the chances are you won’t be alone in your pursuit.

 

Just an FYI, “a lifelong learner the hard way”  is my story in six words.  The six word memoir project was launched by Smith Magazine in 2005??, maybe?  Not important, what is important is they believe everyone has a story and the six word project has morphed into a phenomenon.  I could read them all day, some of them are poignant, some hilarious, some heartbreaking kind of like PostSecret without the post cards but that will be another post for another time.

http://www.smithmag.net/sixwords/

Check it out, write your own memoir in six words.  I guarantee you’ll find it interesting, difficult and enlightening.

Capture Life

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Photo credit: Maureen Nichols, Cottage 960

Is it that you don’t know how things work for me?  Picture this (pun intended)…I’ve got a great camera, Nikon, I’ve got perspective, someone once told me, and I’m not using it.  Why the hell not?  Who the hell knows?  I believe, no, I know like I know that it’s the getting started that’s got me.  So….I put it out there and it’s just amazing what happens.

Maureen at Cottage960 (www.cottage960.com ) puts a really cool new pendant on her FB page of a woman in a beautiful 1940’s era suit, that alone was right up my alley, snapping a picture with her brownie camera.  On the back it says, “Capture Life”.  You know I own it now, right?  When I take the girls to get groomed the cashier says to me, “So when you capture life, what are you going to do with it?”  Here I am back at who the hell knows.

Then I get an email from a blog I follow called Super Hero Life (www.superherolife.com )   Subject:  Sad bananas and finding our joy again.  Ok, I’m listening.  Andrea Scher, creative force behind Super Hero Life is sponsoring a Treasure Hunt course starting May 1st.  For a small fee (from the email):

  • A creative photo prompt each day in your inbox
  • Photo tips + creative musings to inspire your work
  • A warm, encouraging community space on Flickr to share your work and support your fellow treasure seekers!

Come on that’s perfect and I am in.  I’m all about sparking creative juices.  So I’m signed up and looking forward to getting back into my camera and my perspective.

Then, I’m reading something on Upworthy.com and there’s a tiny little glimpse of an ad for this movement, seminar, thing called One Picture Saves a Life.  You can sign up for a seminar at St. Hubert’s Animal Welfare Complex (www.sthuberts.org ) to learn how you can become a volunteer to photograph shelter dogs to bring them closer to adoption.  Send an email and if there’s room, first come first served, you’re in…for free…being taught by Seth Casteel (www.littlefriendsphoto.com ) of Underwater Dogs fame.  You know I sent the email, you know I got invited.

So Saturday morning I take a ride to Madison NJ to St. Hubert’s and participate in this seminar that blew me away.  Go to www.onepicturesaves.com to get the full story.  Suffice to say Seth Casteel is an awesome dude, and all of you know I never use the word dude. Generous with his knowledge, he (along with Petfinder, Greater Good, the Animal Rescue Site, and John Paul Pet) put this program together down to the last detail.  He even tells you what lens you need, camera settings, best backgrounds, shelters looking for volunteers.  I tell you I am stoked about this….who better than me, one part of Two Aunts and a Chevy fame to take this on.  It was a great way to spend a Saturday morning, learning with like-minded people, about how to help shelter dogs when you’re condo association says you can only have a minimum of two dogs.  I hope the other half of the Two Aunts and a Chevy is listening…just saying Toots you hated Chevy’s picture too.  But I digress.

The thing is I don’t have the lens, 50mm straight, and you know I looked on line and they cost a small fortune.  So I think let me go down to Bergen County Camera ( www.bergencountycamera.com ) and just look,  yeah right.  Do you know what downtown Westwood, NJ is like on a Saturday afternoon? It’s sunny and perfect for a day in one of the best downtowns around so it’s jammin.  Oh come on, you know I got a parking space, you know there was an hour left on the meter and you know like you know that BCC had a used 50mm for $79.00.  Of course they did, my sister is saying as she reads this.

My two most willing (not really) subjects (victims) Toto and Lina are being snapped a frame a second. They are giving me the Moooooooom look.  They are taking themselves to bed and having no more of it.  Not to worry I will find other willing (maybe) subjects to snap.  I know like I know that as Karma would have it anything animal related, carried out for their greater good, will only serve to increase your personal Karmic equity.  I will be golden my friends…