Tag Archives: stories

August was…

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August was

Bee-like.  Busy in a laid back sweltering way, creatively productive, sweet in its return on courage manifested and hopeful.  I had the opportunity to take part in August Break 2016 on Instagram.  Using the thoughtful prompts from Susannah Conway I thoroughly enjoyed each day of capturing my ordinary take on the subject and sharing among her many followers.  Making space on her site for us to share our blogs shows the true measure of her generosity.  Not only am I grateful but I’ve taken away many a lesson.

One of the prompts was “handwriting”. Of course it came at the exact moment I was trying to figure out where to start my summer work:

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It was my intention to use my down time to launch the Elder Beauty Project instead I’ve scraped it.  As a project, I’ve scrapped it as a project because the real project is and always has been Ordinary Legacy. Thank you David for reminding me of that and now I see it again.

The fact that I’m tired of talking about myself remains.  While this has been the outcome of my summer work, the month long journey to get there has been amazing.  After a somewhat delayed start, read procrastinated for weeks, I worked up my courage to send an email to the director of the Mahwah Senior Center, Susanne Small, telling her about what I do and how I’d love to do it.  She loved the idea, with enthusiasm and more generosity I was invited to the center to share my vision.  I was also invited to speak with several of the seniors about my vision.  While they are a bit curious, I’ll need to come back with a bit more for them.  Suffice to say you’ll be seeing more of this:

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Susanne has graciously offered to work with me to develop the questions most likely to yield the result I’m looking for, she knows our seniors and what makes them open up.  I’ll be able to leave brochures for them to consider working with me sharing bits of the ordinary that make their lives distinct.  That got me investigating and developing a concept brochure.

Which in turn led to Bergen County Camera, where collectively they know everything, to look for a new lens for my DSLR.  I mean they know everything so showing them what I do now and how I want to tweak it took a bit more courage.  They didn’t flinch at my work, thank God. It always helps to lead with the fact that you understand full well that you are an accidental photographer… I have a new lens, which I like but the jury’s still out on whether or not it will perform the magic I require.  What? I’m practicing and keeping an open mind, I mean believing in my talent…like I always say, you shoot enough you’re bound to hit something.

True to form once you allow yourself to see it, you will see it everywhere.  Like here:

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And here:

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And here:

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These are the stories, the ordinary legacy stories that have been right under my nose while I was too busy being all about me.  Not very Jeanette-like as it turns out.

So going forward Ordinary Legacy will continue to be about preserving the ordinary stories that are all around, hopefully full of senior insight, definitely traditional recipes that may be lost, collections and oh those amazing ordinary legacy moments in time.

I can’t let go of the Heartlines series I just started because it’s been so well received.  If you haven’t seen them yet, they are heart shaped letters to a specific someone but not addressed to them.  They tackle that someone’s current situation/dilemma/angst/ without mentioning their name.  In the end there are always several people who would swear that the Heartline is meant for them.  The beauty of us all being in the same boat as it turns out.

For me September has always been the beginning of the New Year.  I don’t do resolutions but I can see this year I’m headed away from Facebook, because their algorithms are becoming a pain in the ass, and leaning toward and loving Instagram where images=stories, duhhh.  I’m glad to be back, renewed and ready to keep allowing myself to see all those ordinary stories I’ve been overlooking.  Hope you’ll stay tuned and join forces along with me.

Telling Your Stories

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If you think you’re not telling your story simply because it hasn’t been written you’re wrong. Every day that you’re here you’re telling your story, perhaps not in words but in a myriad of other ways. Writing is the obvious but do you paint, build, garden, or collect?

I may have mentioned before that art is legacy. It is the artist’s story that helps to build a portion of their legacy.  I’ve been following a friend I met in Houston at the Lime Retreat hosted by Karen Walrond of Chookooloonks.com, on Instagram for the last several months (only the last several months because I just discovered Instagram). Her name is A’Driane Nieves @addye_b. Her story unfolds in each of her paintings and it is REAL. Whatever she thinks she is, she is talented, provocative, engaging and worth mentioning again…real. I often say that the best stories come from those of us who crawl, walk, soar and she personifies this. I know like I know that she is telling her story in glorious color and building a legacy that will live on.

Ask any gardener what their story is and they will walk you through it, literally.  They will tell you why they planted every variety, they will tell you who gave them a cutting of this or a seed of that.  They will tell you when the light moves and how many times it took to find just the right spot for the damn fill-in-the-blank. This is the story they live and hope to leave behind.

A collection can tell any number of stories about a person.  Think about what draws them to collect the things they do.  I have a friend who collects vintage audio equipment, reel to reel and stereos. Why? Because he and his family are lovers of music and what better way to enjoy that music than on the equipment for which it was intended.  Visit with them and the playlist becomes an important part of the experience as does their enthusiasm.

My spoon collection was started by our dear family friend Jeanette.  By now you know I speak the gospel of Jeanette as often as I can but, in this collection, perhaps my name will be bantered about. My spoons come from all over the world, the country, representing different locations, themes and associations. I know who gave each one but I especially love when it comes with the sentiment of I thought you’d love this…I do!  There are hundreds of them and each started as a way to connect with people I know, where they were traveling, where they lived, what they were enjoying. With each gift came the story of their adventure or their reason for choosing just that perfect one.  It became my way of connecting with and reliving the stories of those I enjoy most.  They are all displayed prominently in my home and admired, their stories have become a part of my story.

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The one thing that you have that nobody else has is you. Your voice, your mind, your story, your vision. So write and draw and build and play and dance and live as only you can…Neil Gaiman Whatever form or forms it takes, your incredibly delicious pea soup, the level in Jiu Jitsu you’ve attained and are fostering in your children, the people you’ve learned you’ve touched recently at your retirement party, your acting, your music, your sense of style and sarcasm, anything that represents you the way you want to be represented should be celebrated as the story that is you.

 

 

Turning Point…Community

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It’s hard to believe I’ve been writing Ordinary Legacy for five years. Five years of pouring my heart out onto the page and into your lives with as much humor as I could stand or as much grace as I could muster. It’s been quite a journey through the moments in time that stopped my heart and restarted my life. I am so grateful for the day that started it all, sitting around a table with two women who, to this day, are dear to me in so many ways. The way they hardly knew each other but who knew me well enough to prod me on to just begin. And begin I did, and continue through I did, and now I feel I’ve reached a turning point. And isn’t that the way all changes begin? At some turning point, whether it’s a tragedy, a triumph, a loss or a gain? Ordinary Legacy is growing up and as almost all people and things mature they must evolve to stay relevant. They must become about something other than the original, something more.

More, more than me. Ordinary Legacy is transforming into a community. As defined by Dee Hock: “The essence of community, is heart and soul…Community is composed of that which we don’t attempt to measure, for which we keep no record and ask no recompense. Most are things we cannot measure no matter how hard we try.”

In the past few weeks I’ve learned so much about people and how they see themselves. I’ve learned to listen more closely to how they want their story told. I’ve learned that people tend to run up and over themselves in the day to day. As Gretchen Rubin is fond of saying, “The days are long but the years are short”. Is there a way to stop the years, no probably not. Is there a way to make them count, I’m sure of it. It’s been said that thinking just one minute beyond what’s happening now can both create or prevent outcomes. Just one minute.

I am finally awake to the fact that everybody has and is a story, all of them worth telling in their ordinary yet extraordinary way. There are people like my Father who, now that he’s gone, can only live on through my sister and me and on these pages. When we are gone there is a chance that no one will ever say his name again, the thought of that is one of the reasons this blog exists.

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My mother has a very different story, her nieces and nephews have passed on Aunt Marie stories over and over. Those stories are irrevocably linked to their grandmothers. The kids we grew up with will be telling the Rere stories to their kids too. My mother has spread herself far and wide and will continue on in the stories told about her for generations. She is an extraordinary legacy because she’s living her life the way she wants her story told. Does she realize it? Probably not, imagine if she did…

We all live in several different types of communities, there is our actual home community, our spiritual community our work community. All of these communities are rich with personal stories. At every turn there are people you will always remember, whether they know it or not. For instance, I was hired by a man nineteen years ago who will be retiring in October. I have a million stories that could be relayed here, some of them good, some frustrating, some funny, some not so much. The fabric of this relationship has a strong thread of gratitude through it, nubby in places where we don’t see eye to eye, smooth in the places that we’ve laughed so hard we couldn’t breathe and the tears were running down our faces. The sheen is one of respect, the strength admiration, the color vibrant. It’s my guess that after he retires I might not see him again, but I will remember him my whole life. He is living his life the way he wants his story told. I believe he is well aware of it. “Integrity is a powerful force, keeping you alive to others long after you’ve left their presence.” ― Mollie Marti

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I believe that most of us fall somewhere in the middle, I believe that given the right forum one might really catch on to the possibilities that small things can make a difference and that those small things we change today will define the stories that are told about us. I believe I have the super power of listening and actually hearing beyond the words and that it honors me to be able to tell someone’s story. I believe that I can teach. I believe that I can learn.

I know like I know that I can create a place where stories can be told just like at the kitchen tables of old. I don’t know exactly how I’m going to do it but I want to try. I hope you’ll stick with me as I sort through the zillion thoughts in my head about round tables and discussions. About creating a place where legacies, like my Father’s, can reside safe in the body of work that will be yours, mine and ours. Give me your thoughts, tell me your stories, and let me be your voice. Together this community will come alive and stay alive through moments in time and lives well lived. Come on…