Best of Summer ~ The Adventures of Toti Nonna

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OK, where was I before Muriel so graciously brokered a truce between me and my laptop? Saved it from becoming a speed bump, backed it up in three different places and got me to pull myself together.  I was about to fill you in on Toti Nonna’s big adventure to the Cape.

Whenever there is a loss of someone close you generally find yourself in a year of firsts.  Life without Lina is no different because she is a dog.  I was sure there was no way to make it up to the Cape in June but something made me ask a friend if he knew of anybody renting a house near him.  Never heard from him but heard from his “anybody”.  You’ve heard me talk about all the dear old friends I’ve met for the first time; well Wanda and I talked for quite some time right from the start.  What a delight!  I can hear you say “of course she is” you know…just sayin.  And so with happenstance meeting oh-what- the-hell Toti Nonna and I were off to the Cape.  In July…  For a week…  Did I mention in July?… the summer.  This is where oh-what-the-hell meets jumping for joy!File Aug 09, 3 57 20 PMAlthough we’ve been coming to the Cape for the last twenty years, this is a new home rental for us.  This is someone’s home and we are surrounded by the personality of the owners.  Again, did I mention delightful?  Toti made herself right at home, thankfully after I made the bed, and we unpacked and relaxed.  Wanda and her husband Rick had been clamming the day before so there on ice, in the refrigerator, waiting for us, were some of those clams. There was a lovely card, and dog treats and generosity that was totally unnecessary but so incredibly heartwarming.  Did I mention it was as if we were old friends being welcomed home?

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Toti loves the car so I knew that wouldn’t be an issue for her but in any other situation she was most comfortable with Lina by her side, or should I say attached to her hip?  So what would her new comfort zone be? What comfort zone, it’s all new, fake it til you make it little girl, it’s what we do.  So on our first day…Come on lets go- it’s cloudy, the beach is out, let’s go to Ptown.  And go we did, she walked Commercial Street like she’d been going there for years, drank out of every water bowl she saw, tried to sneak into every air conditioned store and welcomed every ooo and ahhh she got from the masses.  And I do mean masses, everyone had the same it’s cloudy let’s go to Ptown thought…

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Summer, eeek, on the Cape, there are hundreds of people around and it was an unusually hot and humid week.  I mean it was around 85 degrees where usually you’re around 75-80.  Mind you I am not a summer person to begin with so when it turned out to be “Wicked Hot” (cue the accent) I was remembering life as a kid in an unairconditioned house.  God bless ReRe she propped a big old box fan on the kitchen table, practiced light control during the day and cranked that sucker up at night so a cool breeze would eventually find you during the wee hours.  I won’t say it was as bad as all that but Toti and I wound up doing exactly the same thing and it saved the day, or should I say the night.  Kind of, remember when you didn’t like to cuddle up to momma Toti?  Did you have to pick the hottest day on the cape in a full size bed to change your mind?  Just sayin…

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After walking every morning, it’s all about the fan.  After going to the beach and showering in the outdoor shower, it’s all about the fan.  After almost everything, it’s all about the fan.  Thankfully the bright, airy screened in porch was comfortable, cross ventilated and yes…all about the fan.

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It’s common practice on the Cape to bring your dog with you practically wherever you go.  So when my good friend Terry and I went out to eat, along came Toti Nonna. This was new.  Really new. Like never been done before.  The Wee Packet Restaurant welcomed her with her own water bowl and although she was a bit apprehensive, she soon settled in under the table next to her beloved Uncle Terry.  This was big!

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It was a shame to head home but back in the car we went.  Are we there yet?

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This trip was transformative on so many levels, for me, for Toti, for me…life without Lina is evolving.  I sometimes feel guilty about the ease of it.  Life with Lina could be stressful as she lived an entire lifetime with anxiety.  Toti’s job is done, she can exhale, and she can enjoy herself now.

We arrive home and let Wanda know the Jersey Girls arrived safely.  Toti settles into her familiar space and I head to the mailbox.  As if this trip didn’t have enough to be thankful for I’m greeted by an envelope addressed to Ordinary Legacy. You know how I love to get mail!!! Elizabeth from St. Ignace, MI you can’t begin to know the joy your words brought me.  Thank you for your support, know that I am incredibly grateful that you took the time to share them.

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Another new old friend.

No Explanation Required

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“It’s not about having things figured out, or about communicating with other people, trying to make them understand what you understand. It’s about a chicken dinner at a drive-in. A soft pillow. Things that don’t need explaining.”  Anne Beattie

Some of the things that don’t need explaining from this end-of-summer trip to the Cape are the smell of salt air and cedar, and being welcomed home.  Unpacking the car in record time because I learned long ago that I don’t need to bring nearly as much as I think I do.

Dr. Sunwolf said, “People overestimate the pleasure they’ll get from having more stuff.  This does not apply to new rose bushes, crayons, or yarn stashes.”  For me it doesn’t apply to espresso, comfortable shoes and my camera.   It doesn’t apply to a steno pad for notes or my laptop to create from those notes.

The best things in life are not things.  More things that require no explanation are visits from friends, spending time catching up and dining out.  Becoming an important destination for their much needed quick adventure is an honor and a joy.

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Morning walks to the beach with friends, or without them, but never without dogs.  If you can’t experience joy yourself I defy you to not see it in a couple of condo dogs playing in a back yard.  Running and rolling in the grass should be part of every vacation.

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Who can explain why one would wake early while on vacation?  Sleep in?  Not when the Cape is having the best weather of the year, not when you can have the beach to yourself with a screaming hot latte and the September sun and certainly not when your books are begging to be read.

The best things in life are free; Acting as personal paparazzi to your favorite people.  Meeting new people, enjoying music, and trying new foods all fall into the free or nearly free category.

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Being welcomed home to the Cape brings with it the ritual of making dinner for dear friends and sharing lively conversation for hours.  Nothing brings me more joy than cooking for friends, gathering around the table with wine and music and letting the hours roll by.

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And quiet:

“It just took some people a little longer than others to realize how few words they needed to get by, how much of life they could negotiate in silence.” ― Tom Perrotta

At the end of the day, the most important thing is to have a moment of quiet to reflect and bless the events of the day.  Each day brought with it something to be thankful about and something to tuck away for cold winter days.

At week’s end I’m always happy to get home, it’s not much different on Stowe Lane than being away, many of the rituals and things that require no explanation are the same. The ride home is always easy, our bed is far more comfortable and welcomed and our memories vivid. Only thing missing is the beach and the smell of salt air and cedar.